Joel Madden (j0el_madden) wrote, @ 2003-07-13 23:00:00

Current mood:	nervous
Current music:	nothing

I have NO idea what to say.

Ah. So, I'm not going to explain my actions. Quite honestly, I don't know how. I'm sure we all already know that I do stupid things, and am very stupid at times. And if you don't know, now you know. (Ahaha guess what thats from.)

Most of you probably know by now that I was with Kelly the whole time. Ooh, shocker. I don't know, she was the first person and the only person I really wanted to see, to be quite honest. I sure as fuck didn't want to see Benji. :)

And as Benji so delicately said, I've been an asshole lately. Selfish, whatever. I guess I've been blinded by all of the hype and shit that's been going on, 'cause I didn't notice myself changing. But I know Benij wouldn't say all that shit for no reason, and really, if I haven't changed any, nothing would have happened with me and Kelly. And I've totally just closed up. I never talk to Benj, Billy, Paul or Chris about shit anymore. No one. I just acted like nothing was going on and things WERE going on, but let me not talk about that because it's done with and I don't .. want too.

I know I owe everyone a shitload of apologies. I cannot apologize enough for my oh-so selfish actions, and I know it. Okay, so there was a bit of sarcasm in that last sentence, but seriously. I am sorry. For what? I'm not sure. If I've been an asshole to you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for even writing that last entry, and I'm sorry for being so immature that I had to "run away". I'm sorry for saying none of you care, I know that was lame. I'm sorry to Billy for .. yeah, I'm sure you got what I was talking about in my last entry. It was inconsiderate and insensitive .. and just retarded. I don't know what the fuck's going on in your head half the time, so I would have no idea about .. shit. So I'm sorry for saying it. I'm sorry for being a little bitch and basically just saying "fuck you" to everyone with my last entry. Re-reading it, I never thought I could get that bitter and immature, but ooh, I've proven to myself that I infact CAN be that self-centered, isn't that great. :D

I just hope everyone reads this (that it concerns .. GC, Britney, Tyson, Kel, whatever) and accepts my apology. 'Cause I don't think I can get anymore sincere, although this .. wasn't very sincere at all. I don't know what I'm talking about. Is it sad that I'm sort of afraid to even post this 'cause I'm afraid everyone's going to think I sound like an asshole? Thanks Benji. :)

Anyway, I hope everythings been cool with everyone and shit, 'cause I definitely missed talking to everyone .. ah. sdkhfsd I'm just really sorry I even did this shit in the first place, and it just shows you how immature I can be. I'll be on later, for sure.

	xbritspears 2003-07-13 23:50 (link)
	Hi I will be the first to comment just because..I can. And I miss you a lot. :\ And re-reading that, I definitely accept your apology. I know how hard it is to be honest and put yourself out there like that and stuff. I hope you come online soon. >:O (Reply to this) (Thread)

	_billy 2003-07-14 00:07 (link)
	Haha, yeah, I got it alright and got bitchy in some of my entries, sorry about that :-[. Yeah, some shit I can't really outright say so I get all vague about it, and it sucks, but eh that's just how I am. :\ But yes, apology accepted. :] ::proceeds to put intestinal worms into your cereal::. (Reply to this) (Thread)

kelly_osbourne_ 2003-07-14 00:16 (link)

Um. Obviously we've been talking, so yeah. But hi, I just wanted to comment because my "Super!Girlfriend" instinct kicked in. I love you, with all my heart and soul and really.. I think I should apologize too. Because instead of bitching, moaning and being all mopey, I should have talked to you. But maybe in a way, I shouldnt have because maybe something horrible would have happened? Im not sure. Anyhow. Im just.. So glad we're back together and I mean not only in a physical sence, but just in the sence of us being whole again. You complete me and.. when you were gone, I really felt like half my soul was gone. It sounds clingy, I know.. But.. I just love you, so much. I count my blessings, everyday, baby, and the first one I say to god everyday, is you. You are my most beautiful blessing. I accept your apology and I hope you accept mine. I cant lay 100% on you, because it's not fair. We're in this together. Why am I sounding like some kind of book. But, remember what we always say? "Ride or die" and really, thats the truth. Besides, we're thugs, we got each othas back, homie. :-* I love you baby. (Reply to this) (Thread)