My Heart Speaks (iwishyouknew) wrote, @ 2005-03-07 20:11:00

I'm Still Here
Things haven't changed, and they have changed at the same time. My relationship with Christopher has changed as far as he is concerned, but not with me. I just figure he doesn't know how to love the way I love him, or is afraid of the love as true and pure as this handed to him. I've decided to love him in the same way, only telling him that it is the way he wants it. It is a gamble I know. My heart is out on the limb, but he has't sawed my limb off, so something must be working here.

Now that he thinks I have let go, it appears he has started to hold on tighter to me. I have found a comfort level with him which allows me to fall asleep at his house sometimes too easily. I've found myself waking up in his bed, when the reality was I should have been sleeping at home in my bed. Waking up in his bed, in his arms is the best way for me to start the day, and a way in which I would love to wake up everyday.

I feel that he is enjoying my presence more now that he feel less pressure to marry me. I feel him growing closer to me, even closer than he originally stated that he want to get.

I feel that we are doing very well at this moment in time.

	possum 2005-03-08 14:21 (link)
	Hi, Karri. My fingers are crossed for you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: iwishyouknew 2005-03-08 23:11 (link)

I've given my heart to him purely. Should my heart be broken, well, this is the risk we all take when we fall in love. I know that this is a risk that I've taken when all the odds seem to be stacked against me. I love this man to a degree I cannot discribe. Should I love, and fail at love with him, at least I'll know I loved him purely and freely. For me, loving and trusting go hand in hand, risks are always at stake. Loving someone, you just know eventually you will be hurt. That is how love works eventually. My Aunt Jo was hurt some 60 years later, when her husband left her while she laid dying in ICU. She lived long enough to hear about her husband funeral, when she got well enough to learn about his passing away during an afternoon nap, when he stole the chance, away from her bedside in ICU. In order to love someone fully, one must realize hurt will be apart of the package. Giving your heart to someone means that you know your heart will be broken eventually. It is all just a matter of time. One must pick the right one to love and then to eventually have their heart broken by. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)