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meqee *` (infatuation_x) wrote,
@ 2002-12-30 23:44:00
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    Current mood: exanimate
    Current music:RHCP - under the bridge

    " we cross our bridges when we come to them and they burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that our eyes once watered" - karina <3

    that was my sisters infamous quote. its times like these when she was so perfect. somehow, she could always bring me up again. i really need someone right now, not even just a bf. someone to call me and say, hey meg, are you okay? or whats up? anything. but somehow it doesnt happen.

    " please let me get what i want this time" - pretty in pink soundtrack

    i really need to get what i want. too bad i just cant seem to decide what that is. I long for somebody to care. And I know, I have a ton of friends, but that’s exactly what they are. friends, I don’t consider my friends people I can tell everything to and to tell you the truth, I really don’t like my friends. Its people like katie, panda, kim, louis, my really good friends, who I really need right now. and isnt it ironic how the times when I truly need them they cant be here, or they arent here. Im going crazy, and I need those FREAKING DEPRESSION PILLS. I might as well be the "prozac poster child" now that im moping around the house 90% of the time. im goin nutso tho cuz I need somebody and I HATE newyearz cuz I always try to start out fresh and new but it never works out anyway so im givin up on that too.

    *and I wrote this letter in my head cuz so many things were left unsaid*

    im an idiot too. Cuz I totally disregard my heart when I make decisions. My indecisiveness is to blame for my stupid actions, not that I could blame that cuz its still me. If you understand this I NEED TO TALK TO YOU! I feel so alone with everything these days. Im a complete psycho and every1 else seems pretty normal. This is all about louis and chris, just to let you know. I love louis so much more than chris its not even funny and I cant believe I didn’t notice it before. Im such a total idiot I HATE IT. The fact that I can do so many things impulsively and then when it comes to something like this I have to overanalyze it really aggitates me. Jesus, im overanalyzing the fact that I overanalyze things. Wow, megan, you think too much. Stop thinking. Okay im going crazy.


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