FOLD ME DOWN DEEP, DEEP IN THE HEART OF YOUR SINS (icryforyou) wrote, @ 2003-10-14 17:25:00

Current mood:

crushed

I didn't get it. I'm so upset. How could I be in these classes since second grade and not get in? I don't believe this. God. I wish I hadn't been so worried about if I got in or not. How could I have not made it? I just don't get it. I feel like such a failure. God. My mom keeps trying to make me feel better. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have even thought I could get in. I shouldn't have even thought it. Jesus. Just think how I'll feel when I get rejected from half the colleges in the country. If this hurts as bad as it does being rejected from a college has got to be worse. I don't ever want to go back to school again. I don't think I can walk down the halls and make eye contact with the people in my English class ever again. I hope no one asks me about it. Tomorrow is my last day in my English class. Atleast I was smart enough to make advanced. Yeah right. You can have the IQ of a pea and be in advanced. I feel like shit. I want to fall off the face of the earth.

I can't believe I didn't get in.

I'm going to go wallow in self pitty now.



What makes it even worse is that I know my brother could do it. And my dad will be ashamed when he finds out. He expected me to prove to the people at my school that I COULD do it. But I couldn't. I knew right after I took the test that I didn't get in. I could feel it. So then I started saying to myself "You know what they say, if you don't think you got in then you won't get in" so I started believing I did get in. I should have stuck with what I felt. I knew I was too stupid.

	slightlydreamin 2003-10-14 20:51 (link)
	what college didn't you get in? i applied to like 5 and i didn't get in any of them. i applied to 2 county's and got in both. how old are you though? i keep thinking you're like 15 or something....are you?! lmao omg thats bad that i don't even know ya age! good lord. lol (Reply to this) (Thread)

icryforyou 2003-10-15 07:53 (link)

no its not a college i didn't get in. it's one of the highest level classes at my school that i didn't get in. there's regular and honors and stuff and then there is a gifted class, and I tested for it but I didn't get it. And I've been in gifted classes since second grade, but when I moved to FL in junior high they wouldn't let me in the gifted classes and I didn't wana test for them so I got in advanced placement instead, but then when we moved again and I came to this school they told me I still couldn't be in gifted but I could test for it, so I did, but I didn't get in. I was just saying that if I got rejected from a class, I wondered how it would feel to be rejected from a college. I am only 14, will be 15 december. kewl. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	slightlydreamin 2003-10-15 09:35 (link)
	sorry i was completely outta of it yesterday. it will probably be worse.....especially when they tell you your standards dont' meet there standards and they're afraid to say that i didn't get in. that hits you hard. but i'm sure you'll get into college perfectly fine. it all depends on what you want to major in and your SATs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

icryforyou 2003-10-15 11:26 (link)

yeah the shrink was babbling about SATs today when she called me. thats why she wants me to keep doing these vocab workshop things. i think i already know how it feels though. thats pretty much what they told me, that my standards don't meet theirs and they were afraid to tell me i didn't get in. my shrink never really flat out said that i didn't get in but she implied it as best she could. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Hey (Anonymous) 2003-10-15 01:05 (link)

Hey, i stubbled on your journal.....I got turned down from some schools, but i ended up at a pretty damn good school. So maybe i can help you out. If not, just remember that everyone gets turned down from a few, and it should'nt stop you from getting far in life. I don't have a blurty, but i have a livejournal( thornsoflife), so if you need any help or anything, don't be afraid to ask. P.S. You should find a school with a great gay community. Believe me, it helps..lol (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Hey icryforyou 2003-10-15 07:58 (link)

It's not a college I got turned down from, it's a class at my school. My school has honors and all that jazz, and then there is a gifted class which is the highest level class you can get in at my school, and when I moved to florida they didn't let me in gifted classed at my first school even though I have been in them since second grade. So when I moved again, and I came to the school I am at now I still wasn't allowed in gifted, so I tested for it but I didn't pass the test and I had really realy been hoping to get in. It was paramount on my list of things to do and I failed. That's why I'm so let down about it. But as a comparison I was using "If it hurts this bad to be rejected from a class, just think how it will feel to be rejected from a college." I'm not quite old enough for college yet. Maybe if I were one of those super smart kids that are out of school by twelve, like that chinese kid in NY, I don't remember what they're called. But I'm not one of them so yeah. It was just really important to me to get in that class and I didn't. That's all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)