I am so miserible, so unhappy.
I want to feel loved again. . . was I ever loved? I dont think I was. Truth and Lies. Maybe I was, but I dont think it was real.
Did I love him? Maybe I did. . . can you love someone if they aren't who you thought they were, or so it fake?
Do I still? I don't know. . . I think I do, but I can't. . . it wouldn't matter anyway. . . didn't then and doesn't now.
I want to feel bueitful. . . pretty. . .hell, I'd go for ugly. I'm just plain. At least if I was ugly I would be noticed, of course I would rather be pretty. But I would go for anything but plain.
I want to escape. . . is that possible? Just to runaway? Go away with people who I love! Friends, what a great thing. . . when its real.
You know whats really funny? I haven't smoked in years, and I'm dieing for a cigerette. I haven't felt that way in a long time. There is no way i could get one though. . . damn.
Maybe its a good thing I can't get one, doesn't stop me from wanting one though.
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