|Current mood:|| worried|
where the sun never dies....
i feel so worthless
i feel like i do absolutely nothing
i feel like a huge failure
i hate not having a job, well a stable job. i hate the fact that i went to college for 4 years, suffered through all of that for a BA in fine arts photography and i have nothing.
i hate the fact that josh gets up and goes to work, and i just lay in bed dreading to start my day of nothing.
i hate the fact that i can't really apply for any jobs right now, because we're going to be so busy this summer with youth activities that no one will hire me because i will be asking off for so many weeks.
ugh......i hate feeling this way. i hate feeling that there is no purpose for my life each day. i hate wondering to myself, will i ever become anything? or will i just remain the loser that i am.
i need that confidence that you have found, that you speak so highly of.
where oh where are you self confidence?
your not so best friend,
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I wasn't sure how you felt about strangers posting on your blurty, but this reminds me of the way I've felt a few times and I had to say what a friend of mine told me..... "If you feel like your doing nothing with your life, you are in fact doing something. You are getting ready to change things, you are preparing to do something different to get ready for the next part of your life." Basically, if you feel like your not doing anything, your open to changes and oppurtunities and something WILL come up and things will change.... just have faith! I agree with the God thing.... he does have a plan for you, just hang in there, I know its hard, but something will happen. Pray and listen to him and keep your ears open... maybe tommorrow you will hear about an incredible oppurtunity, a once in a lifetime chance. As for a job.... could you maybe work somewhere part time, maybe a place with flexible hours? Even if its Walmart or Mickey Dees, at least you might feel as if you are contributing more.... I know it'd be hard to work there because you have a degree and you might feel like your going backwards, but at least you might feel like you are making some money and doing something with your days. Also, this might be a good time to do something you've always wanted to do, but you haven't had time for. Is there something you've always thought sounded cool- maybe an activity or a class or learning a language or a sport or something- that you have always meant to try but never got around to doing it? Try it now, that might be what God intends this time for! The last time I felt like this I taught myself how to crochet and joined a fencing club... it makes life more interesting anyways. Good luck, and I hope you feel better! May God be with you! Feel free to come chat at my blurty if you want!|
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