mending|the|wounds (how_lovely) wrote, @ 2004-05-04 10:17:00

Current mood:	worried
Current music:	blindside

where the sun never dies....
i feel so worthless
i feel like i do absolutely nothing
i feel like a huge failure

i hate not having a job, well a stable job. i hate the fact that i went to college for 4 years, suffered through all of that for a BA in fine arts photography and i have nothing.

i hate the fact that josh gets up and goes to work, and i just lay in bed dreading to start my day of nothing.

i hate the fact that i can't really apply for any jobs right now, because we're going to be so busy this summer with youth activities that no one will hire me because i will be asking off for so many weeks.

ugh......i hate feeling this way. i hate feeling that there is no purpose for my life each day. i hate wondering to myself, will i ever become anything? or will i just remain the loser that i am.

i need that confidence that you have found, that you speak so highly of.


where oh where are you self confidence?
your not so best friend,
whitney

	tinobambino 2004-05-07 14:40 (link)
	Hey Whitney, I'm sorry that you feel this way, but you've just got to remember that God does things for a purpose and you will one day know why you have been placed on this earth. I know those are hard thoughts to swallow, but you are definitely worth something and probably much more than that. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been created. Trust me. Trust God. Gb. Tino (Reply to this) (Thread)

	how_lovely 2004-05-07 16:56 (link)
	hey thanks alot for your reply. yeah, i know i need to trust God in this....but sometimes it's so hard. we all seem to struggle with that sometimes. but thanks for your reassurance, i greatly appreciate it. exOh. whitney (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tinobambino 2004-05-07 21:41 (link)
	No problem. I am more than happy to lend my thoughts :-) Gb. Tino (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Purpose wick_chick 2004-05-10 12:29 (link)

I wasn't sure how you felt about strangers posting on your blurty, but this reminds me of the way I've felt a few times and I had to say what a friend of mine told me..... "If you feel like your doing nothing with your life, you are in fact doing something. You are getting ready to change things, you are preparing to do something different to get ready for the next part of your life." Basically, if you feel like your not doing anything, your open to changes and oppurtunities and something WILL come up and things will change.... just have faith! I agree with the God thing.... he does have a plan for you, just hang in there, I know its hard, but something will happen. Pray and listen to him and keep your ears open... maybe tommorrow you will hear about an incredible oppurtunity, a once in a lifetime chance. As for a job.... could you maybe work somewhere part time, maybe a place with flexible hours? Even if its Walmart or Mickey Dees, at least you might feel as if you are contributing more.... I know it'd be hard to work there because you have a degree and you might feel like your going backwards, but at least you might feel like you are making some money and doing something with your days. Also, this might be a good time to do something you've always wanted to do, but you haven't had time for. Is there something you've always thought sounded cool- maybe an activity or a class or learning a language or a sport or something- that you have always meant to try but never got around to doing it? Try it now, that might be what God intends this time for! The last time I felt like this I taught myself how to crochet and joined a fencing club... it makes life more interesting anyways. Good luck, and I hope you feel better! May God be with you! Feel free to come chat at my blurty if you want! (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Purpose how_lovely 2004-05-11 16:12 (link)

wow. what an amazing and uplifting post. that just totally made my day. i really appreciate that you took the time to write all of that. so, thank you. i really never thought of, if you feel like you're not doing anything then you're doing something before....hopefully that is the case. i do have a part time job right now...i substitute teach, so i do that whenever i can and want to! haha. but this summer is when i won't have a job, but i'll be helping my husband out alot with his ministry and going on trips and such. i'm actually teaching a photography class in the town where i live, and photography was my major....so, i guess i am contributing in some way....just not in the way that i imagined. but everything takes time and patience...i know that God has a plan for me, He has a plan for all of us. thank you again so much for your comment, i'm going to add you as a friend if you don't mind. exOh. whitney (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shann79 2004-05-11 18:14 (link)
	Sounds like you need to be a freelancer! Do you have any freelancing skills? Let me know and I can check at work. We farm out tons of work. :) Shannon (Reply to this) (Thread)

	how_lovely 2004-05-12 09:37 (link)
	yes, i would love to do freelance. but i'm just waiting on having enough money to buy darkroom equipment. where do you work and where is that at? exOh. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)