so, its excititing, i have a play boy modeling advisor. im not lying, i really do have one. he found me. thats how you get in to this kinda of stuff, the advisor finds you and decides if you might have that special something something that will make men tick. you send him over 5 categories of pictures, including like 5 head shots. the most are body shots. and for the record for people who might degrade this. i would never pose nude in playboy. well, anyways the pics are sent in they go up through the board, the board decides if you will work for a formal interveiw. and so the process then forgoes and you up and meet hugh heffner for a final photo shot.. yes, hugh does decide if you will work out. which is kind of cool. i still have tons of pictures to work on and it feels like its taking decadde upon decade. if i dont make it oh well, but if i do it's close to 10000. yea, so if your one of my friends, im taking you shopping with me. and buying you something. a gourmet perfume shopping spree sounds reaaly nice right now. well, the first thing im going to buy me would be a new car. i want a fire bird convertible. sporty and
fast. like me. but, hold up on the fast part. with no ideas, i dont move fast ..i drive fast. wait that sounded silly..
i love writing in here. mainly cus i was a story writer in highschool i was the opinion/ review girl for the newsaper. think about why. im opionated as hell. i know where i stand, and usually win my arguements. this isnt going to turn into a boring online omg guess what happened to me today i love you and i hate so and so and oh im going to write this cus its going to bother this person or make this person jealous. im not quite that emotional. im more, like i said opinionated with things and this is going to be a place for me to put my thoughts down and to save certain parts of arguements and philospophies about life i like. im not planning on spell checking, cus remember, this is a page for me to flow and gather my thoughts and incorporate my ideas into my life style.
one thing i love is controversy. i love it when people are completley divided in their opinions about me and everything else. what's that thing called, "stirring the pot." well, i dont know it doesn't matter. i like to see poeoples reactions..okay heres one thing i used to wear all this preppy stuff in highschool american eagle, gap, whatever, then i got into this britney spears stage, i want to be trendy and sexy. so i rechanged my wardrobe with in a process of well, lets say 6 months. and my lifestyle changed with it.one of the reason i did it was cus i wanted a new experience a new change. i left my old self and transformed. i got to this stage....blah i hate abercrombie, i just want to be sexy...but its great, cus now ive found myself again and i can stop being this party slutty type person. thats why my profile aim says, i can change myself and back again without a moments notice. i guess i was always a goody two shooes preppy girl at heart. that part of me has never left me... ive found myself once again and now i can begin to expand.
i never did get on the topic of controversy with the last one, but that's how i am, i'll start talking about one thing then never really answer it with one sentence, you'll just have to figure me out by reading more and more.. this is an insight to my personality. for me to read again when im older. and for me to play with now
im a sweetheart. i will do things for anyone that i love or that has proved their honesty and loyalty to me. i will shower you with gifts when i have money, take you on trips with me. but heres the catch: i dont let too many people get really close to me. i have what i have in my life. and im really picky about opening up to guys. ive probably only let two guys get close to me that ive opened up to in my life, but with that i lost a part of myself, the first one benefited me more, but, lol the other guy really scared me sometimes..but neither of those guys deserved kindness. im saving myself for someone special.im dedicating my next profile to my future husband, and whomever that may be, i want to save myself faithfully for him untill i have a good feeling about him. but i cant wait to make someone happy again, this time without the person himself inventing "the double standard" okay, that shit got really claustrophobic after awhile.
well, it's down time. beautey sleep, and pay day tomarrow. and one step closer to accomplishing financial freedom.
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