Rob (heart_so_cold) wrote, @ 2003-09-03 03:00:00

Current mood:	hopeful
Current music:	tool~forty six and 2

nah, theres no subject.
You ever have a friend that youve known for a while, and they are so special to you; so much so that if they knew, it would probably endanger the friendship? Unfortunately, i do. I don't know why i never saw it before, it was such a subtle, yet at the same time intense realization of how strongly i care about this person. She could never know though, i dont know what i would do if she did. It would be extremely akward i think, but... i realllllly wish i could tell her. I just dont know how i would do it, not like it matters, she has not intrest in me except on a friendship basis, which i love, because she is so cool as a friend. I just wish i could tell her how awsome she is, and how she could be doing so much better, but who am i to judge who or what is better for someone else? I'll tell you who,... im no one to tell someone else something like that. I always think in my mind of how badly i fucked it up, coulda woulda shoulda though huh? Nothing i could do about it now, well... i COULD do something, but i just couldn't...wouldn't wanna dick up the friendship. And now every time i see her, i think of how beautiful she is, and how special she is to ME. And how i would love nothing more than to hold her in my arms and smell her hair and watch her sleep. But alas, this is the real world, and that would never happen, i don't think i deserve someone as trully ravishngly beautiful as her... fuck...this is a terrible fealing...i don't like it. On a different note, i wrote a little something today while i was bored, its kinda of what i think i would say if i ever had to break up with someone who used to care about me, but decided i suck. I dont think i would ever end up saying this to my friend thoug, if God ever grant that i should have courage and tell her how i really feal, any way... here it is.~ Blow me a kiss as you walk away, i thought of all the empty things you wold say. You never took the time to take me to heart, you never gave us a chance at the start. I took your excuses for far to long and heard you sing your lonely song, but that doesnt matter any more to me, your the dead spot in my heart... YOUR NOTHING TO ME!~ I like it, it was something to do today. o well, guess il go to bed, and lay awake and think about her... not like THATS gonna get me any where. Goodnite every 1.