Hayden Christensen (hayden__c_) wrote, @ 2003-09-22 20:47:00

Current mood:

anxious

lost little boy
The subject pretty much explains it all.

Shannon just left, no word, no note, nothing. I know I've been completely out of it lately, and I guess there isn't cause to place any blame except for myself.

I could have done things differently.

This is exactly the reason why I tend not to make commitments to people, I can't always follow through and be someone's perfect whatever. I can't, I try but I fail.

Nat's back, which honestly makes me feel a lot better. She found me on the beach, I don't even know how long I was sitting there staring out at the ocean and the sky. Hours maybe, it felt like days.

Now George wants to shoot a few scene's over and they happen to be some scene's that take a hell a lot out of me.

I don't know everything that's going on with E, but I do know that neither Nat or I want him upset, but Nat has to do right by herself, she can't just coddle anyone else and not do what she needs. Same goes for E and Jude, and hell everyone.

Sitting on that beach with her in my lap just talking like old times, for a minute I forgot that it wasn't old times. Sometimes I wish things had been different because I love her, I have since I met her and I always will. But we both know that what we have now is far better than anything else we could have. Maybe we're lucky that way, I don't know.

Anyways, I don't like all the tension, I don't like all these people i care about feeling hurt, and I don't like placing blame. Everythings just a little fucked up right now. But no matter what I'm sticking by my friends.

	marieh_d 2003-09-23 03:15 (link)
	<333Anakin. I know we haven't really talked in awhile, but I know exactly what you're going through. Don't blame yourself okay? p.s. if you need to talk or anything I'm here. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: hayden__c_ 2003-09-23 07:53 (link)
	Thanks Marieh. It means a lot. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)