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The Green Knight (green_knight) wrote,
@ 2003-11-20 23:00:00
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    Current mood: depressed
    Current music:my thoughts

    You know that feeling when suddenly all the songs about being a loser start playing in your head, and for some reason, they all seem to be about you. Well, I do because thats how I feel almost every second of every day. I hate it here, I hate everyone here, I hate myself as well. Its not fun watching people go out every night and have fun while you just sit in your room wishing you could do something about your situation but you cant. It's nearly impossible to change. Especially once someone has an impression of you. I dont think i'll ever escape the label as "just a skater punk" or a "hooligan". everyone thinks I am a bad person or a trouble maker. Everyone also assumes that i am a drug addict just because my last name is Stoner. I need change, i need to leave. One day, people will look for me and i'll be gone. I'll just leave one day to get away from my sad existance and horrible life. I hate my life. believe me, i will get away from here one day, i will start over somewhere. I'll take all of the things that i do and use, all of my thoughts and actions, my lifestyle, even everyone i know and throw it all away, start fresh where no one knows me, then i can truly be me.
    The other day i thought about it and came to a conclusion. I have no friends. sure i have acquaintances and people i like and people who like me but they only know me in one role. they dont know me and i dont know them. there are people whom i thought were friends but now that i think about it, no, they're not. Therefore, I have no true friends, i sit alone, depressed in my miserable life. Someone kill me so that it will all just end.

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