| Current music: | Nine Inch Nails - Terrible Lie |
As Jose said... they're all fucking backstabbers.
Go to hell every single one of you. All the ones that I used to call my friends. Fuck you all.
Go to hell Becky. Because you said you wouldn't say anything and you fucking lied to me. And give me mixed messages about your opinions. Like you told me you never liked Joe. Beth was the only one that liked him and you know that. Fuck you Becky. I thought I could trust you. I thought maybe you were one of the last people in this fucking town that I could talk to. Obviously, you never really did think highly of me even though I did NOTHING to you. Fuck you for telling me I was your best friend. You really lie to your best friends? Oh... I guess you do. Like with Ange. I talked to her the other day. Fuck man... I thought you were a good person. But once again. I was fucking wrong.
Go to hell Joe. You fucking asshole. Why the fuck do you bother reading my journal still? Wanting me to die.. It's really funny how you can say those things when before it was, "I never loved Beth. It was only you." And then I can't be with you and so you want me dead. Cuz I hurt you. So yeah, I heard that you cryyyyyyy like a little fucking girl at school because it upsets you how much you "loved" me. Good fucker. Keep crying. And also fuck you for lying. And saying shit like how I said it would be so fun to cut deep. When the fuck did I say that? And if you didn't notice, I haven't tried or talked about suicide since that Tuesday night... the night of that fucking phone call. Where you made ME explain everything YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Go to hell Beth. For rubbing it in everyone's face that you're Christian and then suddenly you meet Joe and you're Satanic. Fuck you for many things. Everyone told me you weren't a good friend. I'm much happier now that you're gone. But go to hell for getting mad at ME when your fucking boyfriend wanted to go after me and ditch you. Not my fucking fault you are they way you are. A disgusting pig who literally lives in your own filth and showers like once a week. Starving yourself isn't gonna make you skinny. You can't get rid of that much fat. You know why you're ugly? It's because of the person you are. I'm not much better, but everyone has always told me I'm MUCH more attractive than you. Even your beloved Miiiiiiiiles.
And FUCK YOU to everyone reading this thinking I'm a bitch for this. You don't know what she put me through. For 5 fucking years. I used to think she was pretty. Untill her true colors were revealed.
Go to hell Laura. You think you're such a great mother. Just fuck you. Fuck you and your mood swings. It scares me when you're nice, I never know when that's gonna change. Fuck you for lying to me and telling me shit like I was a mistake. You make me feel like I am nothing. Fuck, I probably am nothing.
But fuck you all for making me feel this way. I can't fucking trust anyone.... Just....... fuck you.
I could go on..... but my arguements aren't good at all right now.... and it's stupid anyways.
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(Anonymous)
2003-08-12 19:40
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Well Shannon...
Maybe you will read this and then again maybe not....it is up to you...
first of all you can call any one a friend but you have to be one to have them...
second...I do not know Becky very well.but I think she understands people better than you think she does....
Shannon.....as far as the lying and people lying to you......are you calling the kettle black? For heavens sake girl...you lie all of the time....do you think every one is stupid except you??....Do you think you are fooling anyone.?? I know you lied many times....I loved you any way...you are suposed to be learning in your growning up process.....that is what kids do.they lie....then they learn.they face the "music"......
If everyone else was lying .except you.......then why didn't you come back to school the next day and face what you did? Thing would have worked out....but you blamed everyone but yourself.......I am not taking Beths, Joes, or Beckys side....I am not taking anyone side........but you have trouble with accepting people as they are....you are allways trying to control the situations..and when people do not do what you want...you turn on them.......as far as Beth goes......you guys were friends for 5 years........freinds accept each other for what they are..they do not try and make the person the way they want them to be......Shannon you talked about TRUST......what about Beth TRUSTING you with being alone with JOE..........it takes TWO Shannon to make a couple.........if Beth was your friend.....why would you go with Joe in the first place..(even as you say it was his idea?)...when you knew that they were together???????That is not what a friend would do....Friends stay away from boyfriends....ex-boyfriends.....husbands....and ex-husbands.....were you a "friend to Beth? And as far as Beth being or not being a Christian....what does that have to do with you anyway???? Is skinny the only way in life...I think not....I am sorry that you seel so bad about yourself..but doing what you are doing is a waste of time....if you think that any one really cares about what you really think.....I am truly sorry.....The way you feel is from yourself.....no one can make you feel bad Shannon..it is up to you to feel the way you choose...it comes from within.........you are a very confusing person.......Shannon...you want one thing and then when you get it..you dont wan it anymore.....that is very sad....You can be very minupulating and I have seen you try to do this before......I know why you did not like Martin for the longest time.....you liked him...and he just wanted to be friends and not anything else.......so it was his fault.....you always have to be center of attention Shannon.....or you pout
in one way or another.....I hope that you do not stay this way...it will be a rough road for you if you do......why dont you just let it go and go on from here......Shannon this all happened five months ago........Another thing I have to say, Shannon, is that you can hate me all you want and cuss me out all you want.but that will not change the fact that I will always love you...and wish you the best in your life........but I really though you were actually better than all of this...........and by the way.....Beth never showed me this site.....I came across it by accident and thought this must be you becasue of the Becky..Joe..Beth thing......had to be the same person.......As far as your mom....when you get older...I hope that those around you will give you more slack than you do about mood swings....you have them also Shannon...........lots of them....and as far as you being a mistake....she must be saying that becasue she knows it hurts you and she is lashing out at you with words......abortion was legal when you were born....she could have had one Shannon...but she did not.......and the world would have be very different without you.....good and bad........you are here for a reason ....figure out what it is........
Move on from here Shannon....get help and feel better about yourself....forget about what others think....I dont think they really care what others and you think about them........I am sure that I dont care...all of it is just words.....I already know who I am...and I am not perfect jsut like everyone else...
Love Beths MOM(Reply to this) (Thread) |
| 
 thornywithin
2003-08-13 18:54
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I don't know what the hell I did. I don't know what I said to who, but apparently it was horrible enough for this to happen. I didn't lie to you about anything. What did I give you mixed messeges about? I never did like Joe, but now I am starting to, even Beth knows that I don't care for Joe much. How would you know how I think of people. You have no fucking clue as to how I think. No, I never did think highly of you, not higher than anyone else that I know, that is because I saw a little on how your mind functions. I saw that you don't easily get along with people. I tried to be one of those that you could get along with, I tried to be there when I thought you needed me, but you wouln't let that happen, you couldn't. And I never once told you that you were my best friend. I might have said that you were one of my better friends, but not one of my best. Dont you dare bring Ange into this too. This has nothing to do with her and my relationship. This has to do with you and me. I said I was sorry for treating you like shit, I said I was sorry, but I guess you couldn't except that. I don't think you could ever except someone's appology, at least not from what I have seen.
What you are doing to Beth is none of my bussiness, but I will say one thing. She waited. Every morning that you weren't at school, she waited for you. She wanted to know that you were ok, she wanted to know you were alive. She cared for you, as did I, but you couldn't accept it. You wouldn't.(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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