Worst Day of this Age
I'll start with the only thing that saved my sanity. Elladan and I went orc hunting. Prince Legolas and Elrohir wanted to go, too, but the Evenstar required Legolas by her side to finalized the seating arrangements for the wedding reception and Elrohir couldn't come because he is "sick." Had a fabulous time. Bathed in the blood of orcs. I was quite impressed my Elladan's skill at drawing out the kill. Very nice.
But even the fun of an orc slaughter couldn't save me from what happened later. I accompanied several other elves, hobbits, and men to Estel's poetry reading. First let me say that all the reports of Estel's "home" are true. The lowest dungeon in Mordor has more to recommend it than that sty Estel is living in. The mural is... beyond belief. I just thank my luck stars that I am nowhere depicted in it. Estel did appear to have made some effort to clean the place up somewhat, and I'd already sent in my men earlier to take away the dead body, but still... I swear, the shadows at the corners of the room CRAWLED. Something slimey and cold dripped down from the ceiling and fell down my shirt. *shudders* Elladan was right, instead of whiskey I should have taken disinfectant. However, the whiskey did at least hold me there. But then... then... THE POETRY! The less said about that, the better. I managed to make my escape early on, but I think some people were too lethargic due to Mr. Took's housewarming gift of particularly strong pipeweed to make their escapes.
After a LOOOOOOOOOOONG bath and some anti-nausea medication, I still needed to calm my nerves somewhat, so I spent a few hours grooming Asfaloth. Its a soothing activity. However, my nerves were shattered late in the night by a horrifying hobbit scream. I ran to Mr. Baggins's quarters, sure that someone was being murdered and found a hysterically sobbing hobbit, a completely stoned hobbit, a glassy-eyed elf (I think Elladan was still recovering from Estel's poetry), and two more hobbits falling down drunk. Samwise Gamgee had apparently ingested several of Mr. Took's shrooms and was having hallucinations. He kept shouting at Frodo Baggins, something like "how COULD you!?!" and something about Gollum. His hallucinations seemed particularly nightmarish. Merry Brandybuck was asleep (and snoring frightfully) under Frodo's bed and Mr. Baggisns himself was curled around a bottle of spirits in a fetal position on top of the bed. Elladan and Pippin Took were sharing a pipe in the corner of the room, ignoring everyone else, and perusing some books (I think they were looking at the pictures of naked people performing magic rituals).
I couldn't deal with it. I may have faced down a balrog, but I am in no way equiped to handle hallucinating and stoned hobbits. Right now I feel the need for a long frolic AWAY from Imladris! Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn, would you care to accompany me?
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