when we're having sex, my boyfriend really likes it when i squeeze his balls. ...and i'm not talking polite little gropes. he wants me to like, pull and crush them. primarily, is he nuts (no pun intended)? ...will this one day affect his fertility? what is it really doing to him? ...and how in the hell could he ever find this pleasurable?
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 | 
 tescovee
2008-12-02 23:50
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Don't be a fucking drama queen, slut. Just because you dropped your token in and didn't get your prize right the fuck off the bat doesn't mean that you get to act like a crummy little bitch. Personally, if I were you and had done that faggoty, spoiled-assed little schoolgirl stomp, I would immediately report to the nearest fucking woodchipper and fall the fuck IN. I know that last sentence was long and I don't even care. If one and one equaled one of your tits, I would add two more to the grand total and let a warthog chew off the total sum. Really, did you think that caps locking your petty assclapping reply would gain some support from any ONE of the COUNTLESS minions perusing my masterful advice blog, or did you think that by behaving like some overblown douchekateer nexus in the Universe would be the more respectable choice of action? Did you get a kick out of the horribly long sentence preceding this one? I would rather suck a fart out of Ghandi's dead herbal ass than have to sit through another one of your single word diatribes against my lack of attentiveness.
I hope that a horse falls on top of you while you manually spring it for artificial insemination. I hope that it falls on you, jams its horsehammer down your gullet and pumps your innards full of dirty sperm-filled equine dishwater. I wish that I could be there when you had to fill out the "reason for your visit" section of the hospital's admission forms. I'd be sure to encourage you to add "being a moody, impatient little whore" somewhere near the bottom, right below the part where you describe how you got your stomach pumped with horsecock. So let there be an understanding that if you come at me like that again, all pissy and disappointed, I'll jam my fat cock into your fucking eye socket and dial a number on your goddamn brainpan.
Oh, and I really couldn't speculate on what's up with your man's marble-breaking fetish. I'm sorry that I couldn't help with this. Anyway, thank you for asking :)(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread) |
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