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katie (gnarliechica) wrote,
@ 2004-11-18 23:51:00
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    Current mood: crushed

    bye, bye byrdie.
    so i saw the last person i ever expected to see again today. Byrd. i haven't seen him in over a year. Here is the history with me and byrd--i met him at Color Pump, as he was the piercer there. he asked for my number, and the rest is history. i hung out at color pump all the time and byrd and i hung out other places as well. we became so close...our souls just like instantly connected. here's the catch: i was seeing nate, so i told byrd we could only be friends. never the less, we were really close. i took care of him by giving him rides, taking him out to eat, and i even let him stay at my house, sleep in my bed, and gave him some clean clothes to wear. eventually, i stopped seeing nate, and then tried to get with byrd too quickly. he was more concerned with me getting over nate and what not. so we were just friends. then, all of a sudden, he met a girl. it was as though i didn't exist anymore. he stopped calling. stopped emailing. he didn't have time for me to come by the shop anymore. and then one day, he was gone. he got fired, and today was the first day i saw him since. he was out of my life so quickly..and i never got to tell him all the things i wanted to. even today, when i saw him, my heart just stopped and i couldn't speak. i was hurt so badly by the fact that he erased me from his life when i did so much for him, and he meant so much to me. and all because i chose to be exclusive with nate, and was only a friend to byrd. so i guess u could say that he's a complete asshole. he used me and when he found someone else, he threw me away.

    so many things left unsaid....i'm broken. if i could have one last chance to talk to byrd, i'd tell him this:

    byrd, you meant so much to me. i wanted to be with you so badly, but the timing was off. and when the time was right, you just...left. i did so much for you, and you just disappeared. what the fuck? didn't i mean anything to you? you've been on my mind for an entire year. i worried about you. i longed for you. and you didn't even bother to say goodbye. well, now that you're here, i'm going to be the one to say it: GOODBYE.

    and that's it.

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