|Current mood:|| complacent|
alrighty. so maybe i'm being stupid about nick and i only hanging out when he wants to. but there are a few other things on my mind, which i don't feel like discussing right this moment. for now i'd like to say that:
I love Lamp.
Lamp = Nick.
Therefore, I love Nick.
Justin comes home in a few days!! He moved in down the street from me when I was a junior(and he was a sophomore) and at first we dated...then we hated eachother...then we became bestest friends! and then there was kinda dating along the way, mostly just making out randomly...and then we kinda lost touch...but i love him anyway! and a few months ago he joined the marines in california. well, his time is up there, and he's coming home to be a reservist. hooray!!
and now for some serious stuff. today i wrote a letter to Ben. I met Ben through a band flyer(which led me into Evil Empire..ps i quit EE a few months ago) and we became awesome friends. and then i fucked things up by wanting to go further than friendship. and like 2 days into it i decided i wanted out. and that basically just ended everything. and ever since i've felt so bad and so guilty, and i truly miss ben's company.
so in writing the letter, i feel like i'm taking a step to just move on from shitty things in my past.
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