Gish (giish) wrote, @ 2009-09-23 08:02:00

Current mood:	confused
Current music:	Fearless - The Matthew Good Band.

Polaroid fun
Someone sent me the link to convert photos into a 'polaroid'. I have one pack of 10 photos left of actual polaroid film and have been hoarding it for good times. But I can never seem to decide what would be a good time. So, here is a way I can have 'sort of' Polaroid shots. Very cute and handy, this program. I love it so far.



If I'm not on the internet fooling around with stuff like this, I'm wrapped up in my head, trying to think my way out the situation I've gotten myself into.

I should clarify that it's not a bad situation, just one I am unfamiliar with and I don't know how to navigate my way because it's like I'm lost at sea, and am surrounded by fog. Writing that, I can hear the creaking wood of an old ship, the snap of the sails in the wind, and even the scent of salt on the air. I'm just feeling a bit lost.

There is nothing 'wrong' with my relationship, but I do feel as though I should be looking over my shoulder for the next bad thing. And this is to my own detriment. I know I should relax and just enjoy what's happening, but I just can't. It's too much of an alien situation for me to become too comfortable. I worry about the future, I worry about what I want, or what I think I want, or what I 'should' want.

I've had a toothache since Saturday and that doesn't really help things. It makes me whiny (in my head), and uncomfortable and all too much time to think. Which could be the killer in this event. I can think my way out of or into anything.

And right now, I feel the urge to run. I am thinking of leaving for the weekend, holing up in a hotel somewhere and just be alone. I have the urge to jump on a plane this weekend, go to my mother's and hide out in her basement. Or some tropical place, where no one knows me and I can hide behind my sunglasses and multiple fruity alcoholic drinks.

that's what it is, really. I want to be alone. Like I used to be. That at least, is familiar.

funkstar 2009-09-25 12:36 (link)

a case of the blind leading the deaf. or something like that. if you can run, be by yourself for the weekend. jump on it. why not? or maybe its a mini self crisis, who you are is not who you used to be and you are unsure of whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. maybe you are just evolving, a bit faster or slower than what you yourself expected...sometimes to not think at all is bliss and sometimes it isnt. (Reply to this) (Thread)