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gemstone (gemstone) wrote,
@ 2005-03-02 18:01:00
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    By Bread Alone
    Wheat bread is supposed to be healthy. Or at least healthier than white bread, which is supposed to be made of refined flour that when consumed in large amounts turns the consumer into a paper mache piñata.

    So, I stood in the supermarket’s two-mile long bread aisle, facing tall shelves packed with all sorts of bread –from cheese to chalah, herb to Hawaiian, oatmeal to potato oat, pistachio to pumpernickel, raisin to rye, zwieback to zuccini, among others. I saw slices, loaves, buns, rolls, bagels, and baguettes. Where do all these breads come from?

    Narrowing it down to as close to “wheat” as possible, there was whole wheat, wheat germ, wheat/grain, wheat/bran, dill wheat, whole grain, and multi-grain. Then I saw a “Honey Wheat” loaf that said, “Healthy Line, Light, Only 40 Calories Per Slice, 0 Grams of Trans Fat Per Slice, An Excellent Source of Fiber, No Artificial Preservatives, Colors, or Flavors.” How healthy can it get? Can it even still be considered bread? I knew it was all marketing hype, but, well, I bought it. Literally.

    That was a week ago. I finished the loaf just now, and I said to myself, “Wow, I’m glad I’m done with that experiment. That last slice tasted like cardboard.”

    I checked the packaging -- it said “Best before Feb 27.” No wonder. Midnight of the 26th, it had started to deteriorate back into its native state. In another two days it would turn into sawdust.

    Tomorrow I’ll stand in front of that endless aisle of breads again and start another experiment. Maybe I’ll try one with artificial flavors -- at least it won’t taste like hay.


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sunshinysarcasm
2005-03-02 18:29 (link)
why is healthy food so often devoid of flavor?

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Re:
gemstone
2005-03-02 18:43 (link)
Because it's the salt and sugar that flavor food -- and too much salt/sodium and/or sugar is not healthy. Makes you think how our prehistoric-pre-MSG-pre-refined-sugar ancestors appreciated their meals. Maybe by scorching them over an open flame? But burned food is also carcenogenic. Maybe they had prehistoric taste buds. I'm rambling. My sugar level must be low.

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sunshinysarcasm
2005-03-02 23:30 (link)
quick! must have more healthy, tasteless bread!

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quinnzap
2005-03-07 04:19 (link)
But bread is good, bread is your friend. =D

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gemstone
2005-03-07 08:49 (link)
Ye. This loaf I'm consuming now, it's "100% Stone Ground Whole Wheat Bread." Talk about "bread is your friend" -- this one gives me tough love. No matter what I put on it, I feel like I'm masticating mulch.

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quinnzap
2005-03-07 10:36 (link)
I'm surprised it doesn't taste like rock, seeing as how it's stone ground. As in pulverized stone, get it? Hahahahaheheh. heh heh. ahem.

... corny. Xp

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Re:
gemstone
2005-03-07 10:48 (link)
No, I've tasted rock. Crunchy. This one definitely tastes like mulch -- not the freshly chipped one... more like the two-weeks-under-the-Florida-sun type of mulch... the kind that absorbs all the fluids lurking in your mouth. Gaaach-chhack-ckack!

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