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Billy Dean Martin (gcbilliam) wrote,
@ 2003-04-18 22:32:00
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    Current mood:irate
    Current music:Type O Negative -Kill all the White People

    People suck and everyone should die!!!!!
    Burning Flames Below
    Reach up to receive my soul
    Satan wins again

    I'm not going out with Paul and Joel tonight, I'd rather gouge my eyes out with toothpicks then deal with anymore emotional bullshit tonight. Sometimes I just want to take the fine guitar wire and slit my wrists with it, using the blood like a fountain pen and autographing the sheets of all the people who piss me off in a day. Then I realize that that's an awful lot of blood to use up and I would pass out long before I got to the last room. Since I'm lazy, and not really looking to commit suicide, I usually vote against it.

    Just ONCE! only once, I'd find it exhilarating, I'd like to just hurl and have all the nasty vile heartfelt feelings just pour out and leave forever. I don't want emotions. I don't have them yet somehow I end up with other peoples. Today was no different. I mean everyone seems to be having lovelife troubles and apparently I'm Dr. Love or some shit because I'm the one everyone's coming to about it. For the last time...

    Love is a four letter word. Much like Fuck, Shit, Crap, Piss, and Junk.
    Happiness is a false state the human condition creates to mask it's inability to handle the harshness of reality.
    I do not smile. I'm fine with that.

    *flips on the pay per view in the hotel and growls* Bite me!

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2003-04-19 00:13 (link)
Right Billy. Guess you never were my friend. I'm sorry that I felt like I could trust you and talk to you.

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2003-04-19 00:15 (link)
That's just it man, you didn't!!!
You were fucking looking for Paul and Benji the whole time.
If you wanted to talk to ME about personal shit you would have, instead you half ass jokingly threatened me out of the band. How the hell did you expect me to react to that?

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2003-04-19 00:18 (link)
Dude...I was looking for Paul because I needed to talk to him about a problem he had earlier...I don't think I need to embarass him on here so if you want to talk about that you can IM me. And Benj....he's my twin...and I'm worried like fuck about him. He hasn't talked to me in like 3 days. And he's not being himself when we're on stage you know? Billy, I was trying to joke said I was being too emo...and I didn't want to be like that, so I tried to be happy and joke around and shit and it ended up making me feel worse...because all this now.

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2003-04-19 00:21 (link)
Look let's just forget it okay?
Tonights a fucking wash. I just want to wank, sleep and wake up without the memory of today you know?

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I think............................
2003-07-15 22:59 (link)
I think that Billy is cute like this. LOL!! Plus the way he can play guitar now that rox right there.

P.S. Being a HUUUUUUUUGE GC fan and all I am going to give some advice STOP THE FRICKEN ARGUING OVER SMALL STUFF LIKE HE CAME TO YOU INSTEAD OF ME BLAH BLAH BLAH ECT....You guys are like the best band in the world and I would be very sad and disappointed if the band broke up from a stupid argument

Love Yall,

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People suck and everyone should die
2003-07-17 02:08 (link)
I know i can totally understand this feeling.... There have been so many times I'd like to have killed myself recently... but my life has really gone for shit lately... my brother, who was 20 died in May... so I'm the only child, so I'm a bit obligated to live because of my mother... she couldn't live without me, so apparenty there's one person in this world who cares about me... my dad didn;t care too much... he was too busy devoting his life to crack and killed himself when I was 8.... and i live with my mom and crazy grandmother who hates me and tries to make my life miserable, she does a good job.... so I escape by coming on this computer and listening to music... dreaming maybe one day I'll be doing what you're doing.. touring the world, making music, and making some difference in people's lives.... I think the song hold on made some difference in mine.... I figure if I keep playing the 13 insrtruments I play, and keep singing, one day I'll be where I want to be.... until then I'm stuck in my house, going to a school where I'm mostly hated.... and coming home to my mom who is slowly dieing because she's got so many things wrong with her... and I'll sit around and wonder what's going to happen next...

so if you ever wanna talk to me you can AIM me on kilo9219 or gcriotgirl182.... I'm one of those girls that sounds like the song... I'm sure there are more though... yeah so you could make my day, and make yourself a friend... make me smile

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