Lizzy-Luv (ganja_puffs) wrote, @ 2004-07-08 15:36:00

Current mood:	disappointed
Current music:	Andy Playing Guitar. Wheee!

I Hate the Cock.
So...My self-esteem has taken a bit of a humongous hit recently. First, I go to Boston to see my beautiful, wonderful lesbian--Sandrine--and I get shot down, basically.
'I don't want to be just some girl.'
'Do you really think I'd come to Boston for just some girl?!'
So...No sex. But I did have a wonderful time. If I were looking to stick myself in a relationship, she would be my first and only choice. But I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm looking for time to do my own thing. But I didn't want to do it celebate.
Apparently, I don't get a choice.
[It's becoming more and more difficult to type this and not watch Andy making sex with that guitar.]
Then there's the boy...Penis Boy and his Miraculous Skateboard. And I thought we were wandering towards some nice sex...But apparently not. So I've wasted several weeks and I'm not going to get any further than I have. This pisses me off.
I'm not interested in commitment or lots of emotional stability. But I was looking for a nice fuck-buddy or cuddleslut. And I don't get a choice. I don't get one. Or any.
I'm just bitching now.
But I'm feeling pretty shaken by all this. Pretty inadequate and...I don't know.
Maybe I should get used to getting turned down.
But I'm not, usually, I'm doing the turning down. And now that my Karma's coming back for all my casual sex, I'm pretty uncomfortable.

aww *hugs* memories_dead 2004-07-10 17:14 (link)

well i am willing to volunteer as your cuddle slut. you're usually doing the turning down? does that mean i should feel special that you went after me? *purr* hopefully i'll see you soon. tell your brat of a sister that should could take the bus here if she really wanted to see me. that goes for you too. i miss you. and i want you to meet isabella...she's beautiful. i wuvs you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

memories_dead 2004-07-16 15:08 (link)

ryn: yes, the cock is a stupid thing...but it's sooo good sometimes. which sucks. call her yourself hun. hilda knows the number. she used to call it every day. i told hilda to have you call my mom and tell her when you were coming to get the wallet. 332-9160 or at work on monday, friday or saturday 749-7192...ok? i wuvses you though. and i miss you. i might be coming home not next weekend but the weekend after. depending of my cash flow. i'm only visiting a few people, so if you want to make time for me...let me know. i'm a little upset with my so called loved ones on the seacoast right now for blowing me off last time. so i'm only coming if people are gonna make it a point to make time for me...cuz otherwise it's not worth it. *kisses* so let me know. love you. (Reply to this) (Thread)