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Fuck Beast (fuck_beast) wrote,
@ 2003-08-25 00:17:00
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    Current mood: crappy
    Current music:Kenna - Free Time

    When did everything change?
    I'm hopeless. I'm seriously going to die. I am the sickest person ever to live in the history of ever. Today, I tried to eat, because I haden't eaten or slept since thursday, and i made myself a very small bowl of wheaties with milk. I ate them and moments later, i threw them up all over the floor. since then i managed to eat a bite of pizza, and a little bit of mac and cheese. I never want to feel like this. i couldn't walk today, and i kept passing out all over my house. I thought it was the end. Now I feel much better, and I can see that I was being dramatic. Never the less, i'm a hopeless person.

    Alex told me today that he's not going to come home anymore because my dad never keeps his promise that he'll be treated like any other house guest. he just hastles him. When he said that my heart broke in two. I was so excited that maybe he'd move back in when the school year started or something, but I know he won't, and he probably won't be going to school with me. If MLT High is half as bad as I'm expecting it to be, then I'm entirely not going there anymore. I want to transfer to one of those career schools where I can focus on my future and learn in an excepting environment, instead of one where i'm in fucking danger because of how i choose to look. I want my tongue pierced so bad. it's ridiculous.

    I want to shoot into my hands and just feel the warmth spread. I want to touch things and actually feel them. I want to say the things I think.

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