|Current mood:|| crappy|
|Current music:||Evanesance- My Immortal|
No school yet again...
So I didn't go to school today again, I woke up feeling like shit, my puppy woke up me at 4 because when my mom got up she yelled out my dogs name rather than hers so she got all excited and we didn't fall back asleep until about 6:30. When I went back to bed I just turned off my alarm, I figured if I woke up I'd go if not, I just stay home. I woke up at 7:30 so I wouldn't have had time to get ready anyways, but yeah I had to feed my puppy and take her out and stuff, Jess called and I told her I was probably coming later... I don't know whats going on everytime I've talked to her this week (when I haven't been at school) she's just seemed... I don't know weird, the way she talks to me it's almost bitchy in a way. I don't know I'm probably over reacting like always. She call at about 12:50 and asked if I was coming for Photojournalism, and I told her I was staying home she was like your going to fail you've missed to many days bla bla bla, well if she had ever called to figure out how I was maybe she would know that I have a doctors excuse to stay home for the next 3 days. I know I'm going to go tomorrow at least for 5th hour and if I feel like shit after that then I'll go home but if I decide not to come at all then I'm going to go and get my homework and stuff. I hate when my friends call me and bitch at me for being sick. I just started on this stupid prozac and I'm having nightmares and shit. They don't understand. Jess has the life of a princess, gets whatever she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it. She doesn't understand how people can be sad, or depressed. She has no clue what it feels like to want to die. And I'm glad it's never happend to her but she needs to understand that it isn't something I do just for the hell of it. I don't know I'll get over it. I hope when I come back things aren't weird, I've missed Monday, Wenseday, Thursday and maybe tomorrow so far. I understand they are worried about my grades but what about worried for me? I hide everything I think about Jessica and Leighann, and it shouldn't be like that... not with best friends "quote un-quote" I don't know. And then I was sitting here watching a movie and someone comes to the door, (It turned out to be the sprinkler guy) But I always freak when someone comes to the door and I don't know who it is. He went around back and I had the other dogs outside, my puppy was inside with me. I started to freak out and I went and called my mom all freaked out because of it and all she cared about what me getting the dogs out of the backyard... so what if it was a cold blooded killer, she didn't care as long as her dogs were safe. Then I went out there to get them and her little puppy was chewing on a mouse, I told her and she was like thats great tiffany just great and hung up the phone. Of course she called back moments later to tell me she was sorry like she always does. It just put in a bad mood, along with the whole "friend" thing. I don't feel like I have anyone anymore. Erica doesn't want to be around me, Leighann is to caught up in herself, Jessica is great but shes not something I can talk to about the hard things I'm going through. So I'll stay here, locked in my head, interalizing, driving myself mad. Oh and I finsihed Girl Interrupted for the 3rd time. Lol anyways...
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