| Current mood: |  frustrated |
we all fall down
I want so bad to be able to be myself. To keep my choir sense of humor. I kid around a lot...and everybody knows it. But today I might have taken it too far, and now Jon is upset.
And I don;t know why he lies to me and tells me he's ok. That he's not mad. Does he think I'm fucking stupid? Guess what baby? I'm not. I can see right through you. And you say you don't want to make me cry...well I do that. It's who I am. I show my emotions all the time. If I'm sad, I cry. If I'm happy, I laugh. That's the way it is. Don't do me any favors and lie to my face, and tell yourself it's for the best.
He has the right to be mad I suppose. Me and Ben joked and he got hurt. Sometimes I hate how jealous he is. When I kid he takes it seriously. If he really truly thinks that I'm going to do any sort of anything with any other man, then he needs to get over it. Have a little bit of confidence. Have some fucking trust.
I'm in a really crappy mood right now. And I'm fighting back some serious tears, cuz I refuse to cry infront of him. He wants me to be strong, then fine. If that's what he wants, then thats what he'll get. I'll leave him alone. The real Christine would beg for his forgiveness. But he doesn't want her anymore.
He wants to be serious then fine. He wants to be pissed. fine.
If this is going to keep happening...then he needs to find somebody else that better suits his mood, and stop wasting my time. The real Christine would never have said that. And neither would I....but I already said it. It's the crappy mood talking.
I'm sorry.
~Chris~
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