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Chloe (foreverkismet) wrote,
@ 2009-02-01 11:44:00
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    Current mood: determined
    Current music:none at all

    oh today...
    I have so much mental motivation to go and do things to better myself but no physical drive to get me to acheive anything. I just woke up and now i'm sitting on my fouton eating strawberry pop tarts with ranch dressing watching a youtube special on Theta Healing that my Aunt Mary posted about 3 hours go. Its noon and something tells me my Aunt Mary is probably doing more with her day than me. I wish i had the mindset that brought me to disappointment at the end of the day when i realized i didn't live it to the fullest. Maybe this is what the wake up call was for. To remind me that the end could be anywhere unsuspected and to live your life every day to the fullest so that you don't waste a second!
    Speaking of...he just called me.... i still worry that what happened didn't affect his habits and he might continue to be a dumb fuck for the rest of his life. Which may not be long if i happen to be right.
    So much shit...really. This state i'm in right money, no motivation, no boyfriend, a broken heart, and the only person who comforts me stops breathing on me. At least he made it. I just wish everything would turn around. I'm not even doing well in school. All this craziness stopped me from going to 2 classes last friday. Fuck.
    You know, i was thinking and as random as this is i feel an urge to bring it up but. Even my writing skills lack now. I used to be the star writer of my classes. My teachers used to tell me that with one creative writing course i could be on my way to publishing. So much for that, I guess.
    Damn, so i should stop bitching about all the things that are going wrong for me and do something.
    Here's a start...

    1) make a weekly routine
    2) excercise at least 3 times a week
    3) attend ALL of my classes no matter what is going on
    4) Do ALL of my homework
    5) Ask for more hours at work
    6) Do something with this hair of mine
    7) Get a fucking tan. I feel malnourished
    8) Eat right
    9) Clean my bathroom
    10) Make a plan and save money for spring break

    i'm going running...peace out

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