| Current mood: | cranky |
| Current music: | Girl - Tori Amos |
Never Again
No matter what state you're in
No matter what your school's budget
No matter how many janitors are employed
By the end of the day there will be urine all over the bathroom.
Today I suffered the misfortune of having a full bladder during school hours. Having seen what the girls bathroom looks like around 9th period, I contemplated holding it until I got home. Finally admitting to myself that it was physically impossible for me to do so for an hour I decided to take my chances on the bathroom. I opened the door to the bathroom and it seemed safe enough. Dim lights, puke green tiles, eternally empty paper towel dispenser, potent smell of piss, and all. I made my way to an empty stall and lined the seat with toilet paper.
That's when things started getting bad.
Toilet paper is pretty nifty because it not only serves as a border between your behind and the junk on the toilet seat but also sops up any extra fluids that may not have made their way inside. A couple of specks...totally understandable. But not a whole puddle. So anyway, as disgusting as it is, I grabbed some more toilet paper and wiped off the entire seat about two times, lined it again, and then plopped myself down.
While I was sitting there I noticed that I was standing in a large pile of another person(s) bodily waste. Note that I wear long pants that tend to drag on the ground. It was already all over the bottom of my shoes, the last thing that I needed was to be walking around with urine all over the bottom of my pants. I think that they escaped contamination, but as soon as I got home I took them off, rinsed down the bottoms, and threw them in my laundry bag just in case.
The bathroom stall didn't have one of those hooks that you put your backpack on. In most cases I would have just placed it somewhere on the stall floor and prayed for the best. There must have been some sort of devine intervention (totally kidding) because today I realized that I could use the door hinge as a makeshift hook. God I can just imagine picking up my backpack and watching yellow liquid drip off and land back in it's source (which I was standing in) or better yet on me.
You'd think that after 12+ years of practice these people would know how to use the bathroom without peeing all over everything. I mean, on the floor?! I might be able to understand if I had been in the boy's bathroom. But I wasn't. I was in the girls'. How do you miss the toilet completely?!
Next time I'll just have to hold it. I'd die before I stepped foot in that room again.
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