|Current mood:|| tired|
i just dont care what anyone has to say about me anymore. accuse me all you want. point your finger at me all you want. call me whatever the hell you want to call me. i hope you all realize what i meant when i said this in the beginning of august:
el (2:09:54 AM): ive got to learn to depend on myself
ngel (2:11:10 AM): if i dont then how will i ever know if im able to stand on my own
someone once argued:
wen u shut out ur friends from ur life and they cant understand wats goin on its not good
cause they start to drift from u
^ so i did the exact opposite. i let everyone know what was going on. and what happened? they got annoyed and irritated. they said "i was too dramatic".
"everyone gets annoyed wen u talk...but i get scared wen u dont"
well whats better? talk and have everyone leave you cause ur too 'depressing' or shut ur mouth and move along . . . faking smiles here and there, but grieve within? i used to do choice a. now im saying "screw u" and going with choice b. i predicted this so damn well months ago.
with the betrayals of close friends. those with no dignity and forget what they did to the people they call friends but point the finger at you for the deed they did to their 'friend'. the blindness of those around me. the stupidity of society. the cruelty of a place wrongfully titled 'home'. you cant rely on anyone. the people i thought i could depend on . . . they all leave one by one. i knew this was going to happen. i embraced solitude.
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