feelslikefire (feelslikefire) wrote, @ 2009-08-28 20:57:00

64.3. Whoops.
Well - today just went from bad to worse. I unfortunately and stupidly binged and purged.
I felt really down since I woke up, even before I weighed myself and found out I put on weight.
I hate my new job so much. I sat in the car for 10 minutes this morning trying to build up the strength to go in. I just wanted to turn around and go home. I really needed this weekend off, but instead working saturday and sunday. Its bank holiday fucking weekend and I really needed three fucking days off. Instead I have to work two. I cant cope with this. I fucking hate it so much. Its the same fucking pointless mundane tasks every day. I am starting to feel so lonely again. I work alone all day everyday. I had not realised how much I enjoyed working with others that I get along with for the last year. Just having a coffee in the morning before work with the others was enough to make me feel as if I was getting a life again. Now I am back to square one. I am alone. I hate my job. I cant lose weight. I am fat. What is the point? I cant go on like this.

	blarneystoned 2009-08-29 08:55 (link)
	you fell off the wagon. get back up & start again with day one. make a plan to leave your job. start secretly looking for a new one. invest in you. you DESERVE health. much love, doll. don't beat yourself up. we all fall off the healthy program. The important part is to never stop trying. there will be good days again. the sun comes out. always does. (Reply to this) (Thread)

hugs secrethoughts 2009-08-30 21:49 (link)

You have been doing so well for so long...today was a blip. You just need to dust yourself and get back on the wagon tomorrow. You are not fat; you've been losing weight, and you will continue to lose weight by eating right and working out...just like you have been. I'm sorry your job sucks. First thing is to see if you can get something else, but in the meantime, you need to build other enjoyable things into your life. Would it be possible to meet up with some of your old coworkers for coffee or drinks or a run sometime? Give 'em a call, or shoot 'em an email. Definitely keep in touch with them. In the meantime, maybe you can meet some new people through book clubs, running clubs, or something like that in your area? And try to integrate other fun things into your life, even if they don't necessarily involve others. Treat yourself and get your nails done, or get a massage. Read some of the books or see some of the movies on your to see/to read list. Buy some new workout dvds or sign up for a workout class, that sort of thing. Since work sucks, you need to try to build other sources of joy into your life, things that make you feel good, help to relieve stress, and give you something to look forward to. (((hugs))) (Reply to this) (Thread)