*apathetic sigh* 2004...
Happy New Year! 2004 is ensuing and I gotta reflect back upon this year. Well, maybe I don't want to right now. A lot has occured this year though! George is really getting on my nerves. He is claiming that he "bettered" me when I stopped drinking so much. He didn't better me! I am still continuing to do speed, and such. He doesn't know anything; he is completely ignorant to what has been going on in my life. I live a double life; one with him and my friends, and the one I live with my "bag buddies." I have my druggie friends and my casual drinking and hanging out ones. It's cool though. I would never force anyone to do speed; in fact, I wouldn't reccommend it. It's so addicting!!
I was gone from my house partying for two days. I am taking advantage of the fact I am on break from school until the 20th. George didn't call me once to check up on me; fuck him! It's like he doesn't care about me. He is so immature for his age. He still plays D&D and magic the gathering, and he is 20 years old. Oh yeah George you are so grown up. *rolls eyes* He can fuck, drink beer, and be a big boy; however, he can't call up his g/f to see how she is doing. Nor can he take her out for a dinner and a movie.
I make excuses on why he doesn't take me out, and I am sick of it. Whatever, he is dumb and he doesn't deserve my time. I don't mean to sound so like egotisical and snotty, but he really doesn't treat me right. He thinks he is the most perfect and "enlightened" 20 year old in the world. Whatever you say you prick. So I have decided not to call him for a couple of days to play with him and see what he does. Also, my cat died yesterday We had to put her down; she had cancer in her face. It was so depressing. I needed to get out tonight and get high, and that is what I did. Then I took a cab home around 5:20 AM. The cab ride cost like $24.00! I was like damn... I am never taking the cab again!
It beat walking like a mile to my house from the bus stop though; I just didn't want to deal with it. On the 27th I went to a party and smoked meth and drank some beer. I had some fun. I cheated on George though; what else is new. I met this guy who I call Binx, and I don't regret it at all. He is so much cooler than George. Uugghh.. I have decided and accepted the fact I can't have like real stable realationships until I am willing to work on them; which I am not as of like now. I figured that I shouldn't really care anymore. My meth use has grown more heavy, and my tolerance is going up again. I guess I am getting addicted. I love meth. Why though? It ruins lives. I guess tonight I am going to smoke some more and I am going to my friends cabin to go hang out and drink some beer. That should be fun for New's Years I guess.
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