| Current mood: |  frustrated |
| Current music: | international noise conspiracy |
pink pink pink
Well, today I am wearing pink. For a change. It was lovely and sunny driving to my house from B's.
i have new lovely pink stripey tights (m&s kids section!), my pink skirt, pink jumper, new pink hat from the lovely Mark, and pink shoes and my PINK CAR!
god
Why is it that I can't just like something. I have to get obsessed over it? I can't just have a couple of pink things, EVERYTHING has to be pink. ALL the time.
I can't just like the manics. I have to own every single item ever released on all formats from all countries.
My shrink said I have an obsessive compulsive personality. This apparently differs somewhat from OCD, but is kinda related or something... I wasn't really listening at the time because I was counting the ceiling tiles. How ironic. If only I was joking *sigh*
I am feeling so very insecure right now. Having pretty much moved in with B I hardly spend any time at home now. I miss my room, I miss waking up here every morning, I miss my privacy.
I was so desperate to move out, and now I feel like I wanna come back home.
Is it things like this that make me abnormal? Does everyone feel like that? Most people seem to move out of home and be content to visit once in a while. I just can't seem to cope with it. I always want what I haven't got.
I am really beating myself up over this and I can't get it all straight in my head which just makes me feel horrible inside.
I haven't heard back from occupational health regarding my uni application either. I am so scared they will say that I can't go because of the cutting. What will I do then?
I hate when I am not in control of things. I really really hate it
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