| Current mood: |  sad |
| Current music: | Beethoven Piano Sonatas |
When I was little, my best friend was Karen Rhodes. She lived down the street from me. She belonged ot the Church of the Nazarene. We did everything we could together. We went to separate kindergartens because she went to her church school while I went to a different private kindergarten. In the summers, we were together as much as possible. We went to Bible School together, first at her church and then at mine. When first grade started, I went to her house before and after schoool since my mom worked. Something happened that year. I don't even really know what it was but I remember the consequences of it.
I have no idea what led up to it but I remember being in my neighbors front yard. There were a lot of pine trees in the yard so it was always shadowy. It was early evening. I remember being there with Karen. I was holding on to her hand and trying to pull her back toward my house while she was trying to get away to go home. I was crying and begging her not to go. I don't remember why but eventually Karen pulled free and ran home and I was left there crying.
The next morning I went to her house as usual and she didn't speak to me. I tried to apologize to her and she ignored me. While I was getting my stuff together, she went ahead to the bus stop. When I got there one of the older kids said to me, "Karen told us what you did last night and she's not playing with you anymore."
From that time forward, the only time that Karen spoke to me or was nice to me was when we were around her parents. At school, she completely ignored me. I remember letting her copy off of my paper during math tests because I was better at it than she was. When the teacher caught us, I was put in the back of the room to take my tests.
For a while I tried to apologize but she never would talk to me.
I continued to go her house before and after school. When her family moved to another neighborhood, I still went. Eventually in the middle of the third grade, I was able to convince my parents that I was big enough to wait before and after school at home. I don't remember ever talking to her again.
When I was planning my wedding, my mom ran into her again. One of my proposed bridesmaids was unable to make it so my mother suggested that I ask Karen. I didn't know how to tell my mom that my 'best friend' had not been my friend at all but had shunned me making those years a misery. So I asked her and she said yes. I have no idea why.
I still don't know why I was so desperate for her to stay. I have never understood why she did what she did after that. I didn't have a best friend again until I was in the eighth grade.
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 | lissa here....
(Anonymous)
2004-08-23 13:27
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i understand completely. When Alicia shunned me in the 5th grade and started mocking me, i had no idea why, and we did everything together for a good 2 years. It still hurts sometimes.
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