|Current mood:|| annoyed|
|Current music:||The All-American Rejects - I'm Waiting|
I won't even lie. My job has its perks.
Mike Beck, Producer Dave, John and Leila handed me 4 tickets to Vans Warped Tour, with VIP Parking and VIP Access. And free passes to the new Will Ferrell movie (which my brother will have a coronary over when he finds out about it). I almost passed out in the studio but they all said I had worked so hard, I deserved it. But it figures, I get tickets to an awesome concert, and the people I'd love to go with the most have no way of getting here. If they had given me bus tickets, then I would've been set, but even I think that would've been pushing it. Ah sigh, it just sucks, cause I have the tickets and have no idea who to ask to go besides Jeff. And I don't even know if he would be able to go. And I really, really, really don't want to show up by myself. But, like everything else in my life, I will figure it out. It just figures.
Oh, and I asked for John Fogerty and Willie Nelson tickets for this Sunday. I figured I'd end up with lawn seats and would need binoculars to see anything or I wouldn't get any at all. I mean, I asked for tickets for Def Leppard and Journey and seriously got laughed at, cause they were next to impossible to get. And then my dad went into the hospital and so i figured it wouldn't matter much if i got lawn tickets, cause he couldn't go anyways. Had I gotten lawn tickets I wouldn't have cared. But I got freakin' seats!!! But it just figures. I really wanted those tickets for my dad and he's just not feeling up to it right now. He's doing fabulous, he's feeling better and moves his leg around more everyday. Its good to see him walking around again. I just wish he could go to the concert, I think he would have fun!
I feel like 24 is really starting to qualify me as old. I mean seriously. 24. 6 years away from 30. All I've been starting to think about recently is paying bills and figuring out how much gas is and will i still be able to pay my phone and have enough money for gas to get to work and pay my car payments (cause I'm picking that up starting this month). Damn this whole responsiblity thing, it sucks ass. I mean sure, in a year's time, I could have my own place. Which means I can do what I want. I can take the trash out when I want. I can sit where I want. I can freaking walk around in my underwear if I want. But it also means more responsibility. More stuff to pay for. I always thought it was going to be cool to be an adult and have my own place and "do what I want". I'm now starting to realize...in order to do what you want, you have to PAY to do what you want. I can barely afford to get a haircut right now because I've got more important things to pay for. How the hell does that work?! Your supposed to get a better job, so you can afford to have stuff you didn't have before. But the stuff you didn't have before, costs money. And you really have to figure out what you do and don't need. Do I need my phone more or do I need groceries more? Do I need my car more or do I need health insurance more? Forget clothes, God help me if I lose more weight, my jeans will sag around my ankles before I'll be able to get new jeans. I'm thinking I'm just gonna grow my bangs out, that way I don't have to pay for a haircut for a while. I mean seriously, that's a sad statement right there. My shoes had better not get any holes in them. I can't afford to get sick, not only because I don't have health insurance for another two weeks, but because that means I lose hours, which means I lose money. So you work all these hours, and you realize that you should pick up a second job and that involves more hours. And you tire yourself out, because you're trying to make a living, but your really not living because you're too busy working. And its a vicious cycle with you working, and coming home and collapsing on your bed and hoping you can get a little bit of sleep so that you will have some energy to work. Not even to have fun. Just to work.
And that my friends is the cycle in my head. And I don't talk about it often because this little slip from normalcy occurs. I don't even know how it happens, it just does. Seriously, I'm happy where I'm at, I am. But then, one minute i'm talking about my dad's health, the next minute, I'm really really scared I'm going to end up living in a box in an alley somewhere with a stray dog for company. But hey, atleast I would have a dog. The point is, is that this is not as easy as they make it out to be. Maybe if you are an accountant, or a business major, with a guaranteed high paying job out of college. Don't believe them when they claim its easy. Cause somedays, it just isn't.
I know, I know. I'm complaining. And I probably shouldn't. I should just suck it up and deal with it. Be happy that I have my degree, that I'm a college graduate and that I have a job at all, because I'm better off than some people who don't have jobs. But damnit, just cause you have a job, doesn't mean its easier. I'm tired. I'm sick. I miss everybody and I don't have a lot of friends down here, because I'm stuck working all the time and don't have time to think about befriending anyone, nevermind making the effort and spending the money to go out every weekend. I mean score one for finding free things to do for the next few weeks, so that I can save up money to go see everybody at school. Cause that's where I'd rather spend my money anyhow.
Honest, I'm not trying to complain. But at the moment I can't stop. So I should probably just go away.
Screw being a grown up. I'm going back to kindergarten.
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Time travel, Tahiti, whichever we can pull off first, its happening damnit. |
I miss you guys...
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