Lauren (oops831) wrote in emolyrics, @ 2004-03-13 15:12:00

The battles over,
Yet no one’s won
Both left with broken hearts,
We’re over and done...

Don't you like my beautiful smile?
Free to whoever finds it worthwhile.
It's of no use to me anymore..
Since he left and went away
What will I be needing it for?

Yeah..this is my first post thingy..I wrorte this so feel free to tell me if it sucks or if it's good..haha..

its good justsignbythex 2004-03-13 16:34 (link)

its good.. reverse the roder on some of it.. here, just delete that one line to the words flow... the add more. >Don't you like my beautiful smile? Free to whoever finds it worthwhile. It's of no use to me anymore.. What will I be needing it for? Oh this is good if you wanna add the other line at the end, but i added to it so u can match the double stanza pattern Like ur attitude.. writing style or whatever. Good.... real good. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	its good justsignbythex 2004-03-13 16:36 (link)
	i fucked up the html so my verse didnt show up... here this is what i added for u.. its rythm Since he left and went away Hurt is left from yesterday (Reply to this) (Thread)

	oops831 2004-03-13 17:08 (link)
	Thanks so much, it does sound a lot better with the new line in it. I was stuck on how to end it because it didn't seem just right. Thanks again. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	welcome justsignbythex 2004-03-13 17:46 (link)
	welcome:) (Reply to this) (Thread)