|Current mood:|| horny|
lost my old diary!!!!
well i lost muh old diary cause i never wrote in it. So i got a new one. so if u've just started reading this i'll let u know bout me. I am a girl (durh!) and i am bi. I only have recently come to this conclusion because i felt i have known since 7th grade (i now in 10th) and i couldnt admint it to my self. But now thru a friend (Lance) i came to accept what i really am. he helped me realize that even tho i am different from others that i will still have people who accept me for what i really am, but there will also be people who will hate me for who i am. And i have come to accept this. I currently have a boyfriend (Aaron) he is the most wonderful guy i know and i love him dearly. He too is one of the few people that i know i am bi. He also accepts this and still loves me no matter what. My best friend would be Amee, she is so awesome! i love her like a sister, but i also want to make it clear that i could never look at her in any sexual likeing way. She is stricktly my best friend, like a sister, nothing more, and she never will be either. She doesnt know that i am bi. and i more than likely wont ever tell her. I know this sounds wrong because if she was really my best friend she would stilll accept me, i know she would proboly still be my best friend if i told her, but i dont want things to change between us or be akward, so i dont tell her. and also there is this girl i like, the most beautiful girl ever. (yes i know i have a bf and he makes me happier than anything, but still i can help how i feel!) she has the most beautiful long golden hair (about 3 in below her sholders) its so perfect and lovely. Her eyes are a presious color of blue-green and i could fall into them. She wears this pink-icing lipgloss that reflects of her lushous lips so nicely. Her body is to die for. She isnt very tall, about the same height as me i'm guessing, and she has the most perfect ass i have ever seen, so curvy and round, its really hot. Her boobs also couldnt be more perfect. They arent too small and arnt too big. Just right. the only thing about her i would change is.. she isnt bi or les. i know she doesnt like girls at all, and would never give me a chance, but thats also part of the fun of likeing her. still i wish that i at least had just one chance with her, and i wish i could make her mine.
Anyways. Enough bout all that. I wish i had soemone i could talk to about being bi. another girl perhaps. someone i could talk to and share time with. even if we didnt like like each other, just a friend who knew how i felt. I havent ever been with a girl.so i ask my self, "then how do u know ur bi" and i give an answer that only someone who knew they were bi/les/gay could understand, "its just something u can feel with your heart". And so i have no one but Lance to talk to about being bi. tho we dont talk about it much. I cannot talk to Aaron about it becausehe is my bf and it would be akward. I am a christian too. and i am afraid God will hate me for how i feel. I wish i knew what he would say. well.. i know what he would say. but i wish i had some comfort in how i feel. Sometimes i feel like there is no one out there that knows how i feel. Anyways. i know no one will read this, so i wont bother with it much. but if you happen to stuble across my lil pathetic life here, comment on it, i'd like to know how u feel!
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