I've fallen....
And it seems I can't get up.
I hate this feeling, but it was caused my own actions. Why was I so blind and dumb. I look back now and I think to myself, what was my problem and why did i betray my own heart. It wasn't me who did that, it had to of been someone else. I am not that dumb and I am not that careless. This is what I feel. I feel like there are times I am living a lie but then I know that I am completely honest with myself and the one person I can trust with all my heart, but then fear comes in and I get so desprately scared...like panicing fear. I hate this fear. I wish so badly that I could just be six again...please can I be six again. I want to be a child again. I'm sick of living life as an adult. I want to be free like a child. OH HOW I HATE BEING OLD!!! With a passion that burns into my heart. I want to be six again. I want to be six again. I want to be six again. If only we could turn back time.
The thing is I have gotten back up already and I am running this race harder and faster than ever. NOTHING is going to stop me. And i have determinded in my heart that NO matter what happens I will bless the Lord. Whether good times or bad times are around the corner I will bless his name. It's hard, but not near as hard as dying for people who don't love me.
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