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Days like today make me hate myself. When does familial obligation end? I'm so tired of being used, and abused. Can you believe, I was actually told, actually TOLD "If I was more of a cruel person I'd have severely beaten your ass by now.." *sigh* Really? I pay everything. Everything. I don't want to be here any more than you want me here. I didn't want this - just like you didn't. Yet you consistently bite the hand that feeds, and yet I consistently stay Because you have no one else. Your other two children turned their back on you a long time ago. So I've been pacing the past couple of hours, wondering if it's going to end like it did last time. You punched me in the mouth, and I walked away for 2 years. Today wasn't supposed to be this way. Today was supposed to be a good day. I had gone to the doctor and gotten better antibiotics. All my labwork came back normal. And Steve sent so many love - filled messages I felt happy despite being sick. ..I just want it to end.
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