Barbie (devilishbarbie) wrote, @ 2003-08-17 00:09:00

Current mood:	cynical
Current music:	Korn, Did my time

Did u kno that a bat is the only mammel that only feeds on blood!
i found that out today whilst queuing up for "VAMPIRE!" at "Chessington World of Adventures!" WOOHOO, we finally got there! Trace and Dean took us on a lil family outing, (US being me and lindsay!) i went home last nite and went to see American Pie: The Wedding! (Fi was rite, it is soo funni!) anyway, my bro got me and my step dad free tickets wot with him working for Mr MacDonalds! lol. anyways, i got home and just kinda creeped around a bit, just went here and there, spoke to lindsay and soph on the fone then went to bed, after watching the New Tom Green Show! classic!!! anyways, i fell asleep and woke up at 5.30 am!!! well i was WOKEN up at 5.30 am !thank goodness to my lovely mother!! and got ready, that means ironing todays clothes! etc. and i left my house at 6 in to the miserable rain! and walked to lindsay's house! Ben and Soph werent sleeping downstairs so they cudnt let a wet me and tracey in! (as in RAIN wet!!!) so we had to knock on the windows with stones, in other words me lobbing stones at the window, and with my shit aim, that attempt did NOT work! so we decided to knock on the door, and karen and rob woke up! and let us in! i cudnt believe it, i was up early, i even went to the newsagents! and it was 6.25!!! lol never knew it existed!!! lol anyways. we left at wot 7.30 to get the train! we got there, and got the train to Clapham Junction ( i love that Train station, it smells of libraries!!!lol) anyways we had to get the train to Chessington South (jst lettin everyone kno jst incase they wana go!) and we gots cookies etc. and then we got on the train! we got there, and walked to Chessington we got there and paid our £12.50 each due to great speshul offers of this world!! lol anyways we got there kinda early so we got to c the animals, there were chimps (aww, i want one!) then there was lions, and mummy and a daddy, sumtimes i wonder if it wud b a nicer life to b a mammel held in captivity? just so everything is planned out for u! then there were dead tiggers and leopards! i swear leopards are meant to be the fastest runners etc. but i tell u they had about 5 metres to run then the wud go head first into a wall! anyways, the park opened and i aint racist but the fucking place was filled with RUDEBOI's or BUFFTINGS!? and "pakistanies!" i swear we are being overuled! anyways, we went on the bloody ship first, it bought bk bad memorie of me being about 5 and walking straight on and straight off! i was so scared of fast rides about two years ago! lol! anyways we went on it twice! one straight after the other! then we went on "VAMPIRE" it was rly funny, because it was a "swinging" rollercoaster! we were singing...wait for it! The All-American Rejects ~ Swing Swing!lol appropriate or what!? it was funny. we then went on the bubble works, that was boring and we got stuck 1/2 way round which was the only thrill on the ride! apart from the fact that there were complete fittees that were on it! lol! we went round lots of rides and spent around £*0 on trying to win fucking teddys, but i have to admit, it was quite bloody funny! tracey and dean r both quite talented wen it comes to trivial things like that! :P only joking, we plucked up courage to go on "Samurai!" that was so fine, but b4 that we went on a "stomach churning" ride called "Rodeo" it was a kinda on the floor version of "Samurai" but faster. it was so fun that we went on it twice, then wen we told lindsay that the "Rodeo" was worse than "Samurai!" so we started queuing for it, i had adapted quite a weak stomach from fizzy drinks and the rodeo so started bricking it. tho the funny things is that i wasnt scared, i was worried i was gona be sick! but we got on it, and it was piss! it wasnt scary just fun! i was driblling everywhere and smacking deans hands so that he dint hold on! we were all having a larf! then we went on things like the Log Flume and The Rattlesnake and umm...cnt remember now but i know we had two lockers full of teddys! the after waiting for ages at 4.30 Ramisis Revenge started working again, so we went on that! then wen we were walking off we noticed that "Rodeo" dint have a queue, so we wnt on that. and it was a complete disaster. Earlier that day i has stepped on three drains, tracye sed i had to spit on the middle one, she is the superstitious one, not me! but i believe now! coz i had the worst luck possible! we got on the "Rodeo" and me and lindsay smaked heads jst as we started, it is a pretty fast ride so it was fast v.quickly! and as i turned to c if she was ok, it flung me to the side where stable padding is meant to be! but i had managed to knock sum of it off and instead of survivin i WHACKED, and i mean whacked (tracey and ean described it as a "sledge hammer hitting a brick wall!?" :/ apparently they heard it and pissed themselves coz they thought it was some one else, but shit themselves wen they realised it was me, i dunno how long i was out for, but i was told i was out cold!? anyways the person controlling the ride dint notice and the ride carried on, i spent the rest of the day trying to calm down a headache, i felt so dizzy and nearly collapsed loadsa times, but i wasnt about to be the one to spoil the day! so i tried to carry on as normal! so we went on a couple more rides,and tried to win more teddies! and they did! i was the best babysitter of the day, my favourite was BIG NEWTY!!! lol he was a huge newt suprise suprise! then we had a KFC then left! wen we got to the train, i had a funny turn bcoz loadsa ppl got on the train and completely squashed us, and again we were brim full with pakistanies! and so i had a panick attack dint i, in the middle of the train! the driver took us off and told me i could sit with him but i sed no coz i dint wana split up wiv the others. so i went bk on and i dint wana ruin the day so i went in hypo mood which actually killed myself, but iwas playing a game with myself not to give it away that i just wanted to sleep to get thru the pain! but i was beng quite funny, for my usual self and if i dint feel the way i felt, i wud have sed that i'd knock myself on the head everyday to be that funny, but NO THANKS!!! it wasnt until we got on the next train that i realised i had done no use in chucking myself about laughin and bein silly coz i felt worse and was trying to get to sleep instead of crying infront of everyone, but tracey and dean kept waking me up!!! :( for my safety tho! but then wen we moved and i sat next to lindsay and i cant lie to her, and she asked if i was ok and i broke down, i felt dizzy and my head was hurting around the area i knocked it! they thought i might have concussiion but all i wanted to do was get home! and to tell ppl about my day! but they were like, get my mom to check u then we'll c if roy shud take u to hospital!!! FUCK that, i hate hospitals! so i just sed i wanted to go home, we got karen to pick us up and she did, she checked me over and sed i dint have concussion thank god! so she dropped me off at mine, and i had a cry wiv roy! and now i feel weird. not as headachy, but still weird and quite dizzy! i am listening to The Ataris, in this diary and it is reminding me of alex! i miss him so much! and her has bin gone like 2 days! and i know my aim is to get over him, but i rly *cough cough* LOVE maybe him!!! which is a bad bad thing, coz he is another person that i have allowed myself to fall for! and i hate myself for it! coz its abother endless story of unrequainted love! and it sux coz i dnt wana feel all that pain again!!! he has hurt me in the way that i sonly between us two, and altho he does kno he has, he doesnt know on wot kinda scale! and altho i want him to kno, i dnt, coz its not his fault that i am hurt that much! its mine, maybe i am just wishin for him to come bk and tell me how much he wants to be with me! and even tho i know it wont happen, i want it to! deep down i my heart i want it too! but i know if he dont think it will work,. then it obviously wont! but a girl can dream cant she!!!??? or cant she???i dunno! maybe i just cross the line too many times by dreaming of wot cud or can b! altho it doesnt rly help me, but it makes me smile for however long it lasts! and normally it ends before the best bit. but i seriously dnt think he has left my mnd for more than about 3 hours a day! and that is a LOT of thinkin about Alex! some pl spose wud say too much, but he is the guys that gets me over ppll momentarily! and he sed he werent gona tell me how to get over him! coz its weird, and i admit it is! but i just dnt kno if i shud get over him, coz then i'll like another guy and get hurt like this by him! or i shud stay stuck on him and get hurt over and over by the same guy!? i cant rly decide wot is best to be honest! and i dunno if i wana know, all i wana know is how i get to love alex without getting hurt, if u have any answers plz comment to me about them. anyways i had beta go, it sux that i missed the misnomer gig coz i rly wanted to go!but sum things jst cant be helped i spose! i will see alex in a week or so! and i dont know how i will feel about it! i wish i cud get advice off of him! but i dnt think it will ever happen!!! ah jesus, y is it so hard!? i miss my mum! i get to go and c my cousins on tuesday, i am leaving ya'll next tuesday!!! :( but u will c me for a couple of days before i take lindsay hostage to pompey!!! anyway i have to go now coz sophie wants to read this rather short entry, she's expecting it to be long!!! i wish she wud tell wot is wrong, i feel useless!!! i wana help her, i know he aint happy!!!:(
Nite nite, sweet dreams!!!
Barbie!
P.S. Tracey & Dean want me to c the police about Colette!!!???she is pranking me etc.!

	She sed DON'T. Don't ket it go 2 ur head, Boys like u r a dime a dozen, boys like u r a dime a dozen sarcastik 2003-08-16 21:14 (link)
	Goood sng (Subject) Yer newyz... Tis odd, of allll the peeps ive spkn 2 since I got bk frm the gig, did u kno, tht U r the ONLY 1 hu's noticed I'm nt happy! Ur probs the only 1 hus read ma bloody Blurty n all... r well. Life sux. Tnx 4 carin hunni of a trampy sis of mine. loves ya xxx (Reply to this) (Thread)