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....Drone.... (_pinkerton_) wrote in dearyou_,
@ 2009-07-01 20:04:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Add to Topic Directory  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry

    Dear all of my best friends, and the ONE who can suck it,

    I don't care who you are friends with.
    I would never tell you not to be friends with anyone because that would just be stupid and selfish.
    BUT, for everyone to just.. ignore me for two days to hang out with someone I don't particularly like anymore, or talk to anymore, is really upsetting.
    I would never let on to this because I don't want any of you to feel bad.
    I wasn't just "good" friends with her. I was her "best friend."
    And the way it ended was fucking stupid, but it wasn't just that, it was everything she's ever done,
    and everything thing she's ever lied about. Everything she's ever said about ALL of you that was
    malicious and shitty. Not to mention the fact that she practically tried to be me.
    In every way, shape and form. The way I talk, how I dress, what I like to eat, what I hate to eat,
    the bands I love and hate, the people I love and hate. To say it was over the top is an understatement.
    How can one possibly continue being friends with someone who does that, and is so manipulative and controlling? It was almost like I couldn't have any other friends or interest. There was no room for me to evolve as a person because that would somehow drastically change our friendship and who WE were.
    I didn't want to be a WE. I wanted to be ME.
    Compounded by the fact that all of you seemingly had such a huge problem with her then.
    And then, once I stopped talking to her, you all became her fucking best friends.
    What the hell is that? I don't know if it's you feeling sorry for her for alienating anyone she's ever known because she's literally a crazy person, or because you actually like her now.
    Beats the hell out of me.
    The only thing you'd ever get out of her is some kind of "drama." I HATE that word, but it's the most appropriate one to explain it.
    All she wants is to talk shit and butt into peoples lives because she feels she deserves to know everything, then shove advice down your throat, effectively trying to control what you do. Not even joking.
    I should know.
    I went through that for a long time. And not to say she wasn't a decent friend while it lasted, but what I realize now, which took wayyyy to fucking long, was that she was never a REAL friend.
    She's a leech. Through and through.
    The way she treats her boyfriend? Are you kidding me? Pat used to be one of us, and I'm sure somewhere deep down he's still awesome, but he's gotten lost in her. It's fucking pitiful to witness. Seriously.
    She's a fake. And a good one. She has you all fooled.
    And I'm left here alone while all of you are hanging out without knowing fucking good and well that if you were in my shoes you'd feel real shitty. And if it were any of you, you'd make a big fucking deal about it and get really pissed off.
    Well, I am pissed off. I'm really hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel awful.
    I will never tell you this because you are my best friends. I've you all for so long it's like we're a family.
    I LIVED with all of you. She didn't.
    That should elude to the fact that she's out. She's done. Stick a fucking fork in her.
    The dream is over.
    I don't hate her, I never will. I just want her to grow the fuck up and realize that not everyone has to be stuck to her like fucking chicken feathers to tar. To realize that people are all different, and maybe, just maybe, they don't care what her opinion is because clearly they have a brain in their head and can definitely make their own decisions because they are grown people.
    I want her to realize that our friendship didn't end because of some stupid shit she did at a party.
    I want her to know that it ended because I literally couldn't take it anymore.
    I couldn't possibly have lived me life knowing that someone was living vicariously through it.
    I could no longer carry her around with me every where I go. Literally and figuratively.
    I had to break it off to really get to who I am and what I want to do.
    I couldn't let someone essentially try to live my life while I was trying to live it.
    It doesn't work that way. And it never will.
    I will never say these things to any of you, especially her, because I really don't think she deserves it.
    If I even wanted to tell her, she would just twist it all up and make herself the victim. And I will never EVER again give her that pleasure.

    Love,
    Amanda.


    Run your mouth when I'm not around.
    Its easy to achieve.
    You cry to weak friends that sympathize.
    Can you hear the violins playing you a song?
    Those same friends tell me your every word.


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