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blacktongue (overtheshoulder) wrote in dearyou_,
@ 2008-11-09 23:36:00
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    Current mood:despair.resentment
    Current music:the runner.kings of leon

    dear jeff,
    over and over i want to tell you plainly how i feel, which differs greatly from what i told you. I still like you, but i'm frustrated, I guess. There have been so many times that I died inside just hoping to tell you something, but it just doesn't work that way now. and i have no male counterpart anymore. It used to be you, or even erik. I wish i could tell you not just insignifcant details, but questions in my head that i know you would have loved to try to answer. No one had a fervor to learn like you, and i feel like i lost you. Am I a sign of bad times for you? Do you no longer want to talk to me like we did?

    I miss your friendship so much, but sometimes your lack of presence is enough to help me hate you. And sometimes hating you feels good, because i can pretend i didn't really feel anything for you.

    I dunno, help me out here, please? stop leaving me on this thread. Tell me something that can make me hate you and forget you. Or make it so that I can have hope in you. But I haven't been breathing since we last had a genuine connection. that was seven months ago. I want to breathe again.

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