Tom (deadgeneration) wrote, @ 2003-11-23 04:38:00

Current mood:	depressed
Current music:	box car racer : letters to god

"death is freedom, hatred is life"
wow, my hands are numb so its taking me 10 minutes to type a fucking word and my head hurts, but at least im off my meds.

lets see, friday i went to skool, had a head ache, didnt really do anything, went home, and did nothing.

saturday i went to thews house and that was cool. then we walked up to scotts house and hung out with him, his gf and pj. we made a movie. lol. it was so terrible that it was hilarious. we had fun at least. we got to beat up pj and scott during the film and pj touched scotts gf's (sarah) boob and to make a long story short, scott did nothing and sarah managed to destroy pj's manhood and get a thorn stuck in his eye. blood everywhere, the funniest shit i ever saw. then we went back to matts house, watched black hawk down, i ate a marshmallow, we played guitar, i got drunk, and in the morning i got picked up. thats my saturday.

today.......wow. i had to help my dad put up christmas lights, take a "car ride" and do a lab report and church project. all of this with a headache and parents yelling at me.

theres still some people that i havnt talked to in a week and thats buggin me. i tried apoligizing but havnt heard back from any of them. things lately really suck and i just dont kno wut to do any more. my problems are solved with alchohol all the time now and i hav sudden head aches and mood swings. im not taking my meds and frends are mad at me. this life is so old. really, where am i going? its the same shit everyday and im sick of it. im really sad now for the first time in a l;ong time. and now im starting to wish i went to seymour. it seems like alot of people at st. joes hates me, including frends. i wish i was a better person. i wish i wasnt so fucked up. i really wish i wasnt so alone.

	(Anonymous) 2003-11-23 21:36 (link)
	im hear for u. adn just for the record i think your a very good person, if anythign u are TOO caring about people and thats a good thing. your a good friend, dont think twice about it. - puker (Reply to this) (Thread)

deadgeneration 2003-11-24 16:13 (link)

thanx alot. i kno u here for me, its just that everything right now is fucked up, and its all really my fault. alot of things and people hav changed since lasdt year and over the summer and its never really gonna be right again. i miss the summer. things were goin so well. now, everythings just fallin to pieces. i really hate regrets, but i hav alot of them. its so retarted. and the worst part is it all doesnt matter. we're gonna graduate from high skool in 2 years. then wut? all this shit will be forgotton. so it doesnt really matter now. the people u see now will be long gone wen u graduate. the same people the u go to high skool with and get close to prolly wont be goin to the same college. and ull only stck with ur best of frends once u leave. i thought some people at st. joes were really good frends of mine but in the past month everythings all changed and it hit hard but it made me realize. it still hurts now and i wish things/people cud be different but that cant happen. only if they really cared for u it will happen. and for the record, im not pointing this at anyone in peticular, so no one take it personal. i really miss the summer. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)