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Marissa Cooper (daredevil69) wrote,
@ 2003-10-07 22:51:00
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    Current mood:hopeless
    Current music:only hope-----mandy moore----

    Why me?????
    Dear Journal,


    i hate my school. i hate my friends.... wait, what am i talking about??? i don't have any friends right now.. Yeah they ditched me because they said i'm too good for them.. it's like "i'm an angel in hell" well yeah that what it feels like.. I really like them. I mean it's ok if their bad. I'ts no big deal.... I can be bad right??? (please say yes).. Well the thing is,... i've tried to be bad.. i really tried.. i mean it's a good feeling if you bitched at someone.... u should try it.. especially those troublemakers in my class... i hate them. But i dunno.. when they learned that i'm being bad and can be a total bitch. they said i'm not being myself... and i hate them for that coz they told me that they now i'm really nice and i;m nothing like them...... i don't know that being nice is a bad thing. i don't wanna be nice anymore......... i hate it coz i'll lose all my friends if i'm NICE... I don't wanna be an ANGEL anymore..... (if i am one)lolz

    When they said that, it really hurts. u know how sensitive i am.... i went home that afternoon coz i don't wanna see them in my dance class... they're there. And i ca'nt take it...... for now.. i know it will pass... but i haven't had this kind of REJECTION before.... yeah..... and it really hurts....."they can all go to hell" ----that's what Lance said. And i agree..... i know i'm not stupid but i didn't get to take my math test that afternoon..... oh my god i'm going to make up for it... even though i hate math so much.....and when my sister came home, she thought i'm in the grade 12 meeting so everything went well....

    That is when my mom came home.... everything went wrong... The school called and my sister answered it.. BUSTED... i told them my shoulder's are aching... (which is not true) well i'm ot gonna tell them hte truth thye don't like me.... and my mom starts bitching at me......i HATE HER.... she said tht i should go to school, blah , blah , blah.. i think i'm going to explode.......
    She doesn't know what i'm going through everyday.....!!!! She's not theone going to school. And she said htat i'm always giving her problems...... i hate to say this but she's a BITCH..... she's directing hher anger to me because she lost her stupid checkbook.......i hate her, i hate her, i wish i was in a different family so i don't have to put up with all these evilness....And i ahte my sisters.... They're evil too!!!.... Thanks a lot for my youngest sister and her big mouth coz she told my mom that i'm waiting outside coz i forgot the key. Yeah you guess it another lecture......... i wish i was somewhere else at that time.....

    note to self::: if i'm that nice like what they said ,.... why all this evil things are happening to me/??? i don't deserve this...
    " God i'm going to lose it..."

    Marissa@_@.................



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