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Grizabella (danverscarew) wrote,
@ 2004-01-10 23:36:00
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    Current mood: depressed
    Current music:Falcon In The Dive (from Scarlet Pimpernel)

    When I Look At You...
    I don't get comments anymore...where did everyone go??? I'm everything I never wanted to be...slowly I listen to people tell me how my future occupation wont work out...and I believe them...i'm called a whore, and in my heart I know it's true...myself at 12 would think that I now am the most disguisting fraud ever...the other day sara said I always seem so happy...good facade i guess...I've driven everyone away and now i'm left to sit in my bitter stings...I remember days...days full of life...days where I'd have places to go, people to see, fun to have...days when i was included in things...days when people may have noticewd my absense, and maybe even to regret it, but now, it does not matter whether I am there or not....not any longer...i slowly get thinner and thinner, but I'm still not in any way pleased with my body...I'm getting contacts...and I will forever seek ways to make myself somewhere near the region of attractive...I want to be wanted...and it sounds very pathetic, but acceptance, isn't it something all of us have wished for at one time???...I sit here and wonder what makes me different and i try to change it...try to think of a way to make myself more be around, to be with...I search for ways to bring myself confidence, and ways to bring myself redemption, but none are found...what I've done remains done, and the future will always be tainted by that...I belong nowhere, no group accepts me, and I'm beginning to think that shall last for quite some time...I'm not like everybody else, and i never will be, and that doesn't's very much too lte to keep I'll write again tomorrow.

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Never alone
2004-01-10 23:49 (link)
Davey, you'll never be alone. You fit in with me, you always will. I know how you feel and it sucks. I've never had the chance to ever become the societal definition of a whore. Nor have I had the chance to become someone who knows what it's like to not be alone, to belong, to AFI once said "I can't remember a time in my life when life was at its best." I love ya babe, dont ever change, not for anyone but yourself. Don't be like them no matter how hard it is or how much it always have me....don't forget that.

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my new best friend
2004-01-11 18:59 (link)
my new best friend! wahooooooooooo! lol i made a comment! my new best friend

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