Kaan (cynicalhope) wrote, @ 2004-03-19 10:49:00

Still sheesh!
I used to get a plastic bowl shaped detergent box and use it as an helmet. Get my moms lengthy and thin pasta roller and wait infront of our door for hours playing sentry.

Everybody in my family thought I was gonna become a soldier it being the family profession and all. Hell if I knew that US armed forces were training personel in Hungary with Kurdish and Turkish backgrounds in 2000 (Wov gee what a big suprise there whopping three years before the actual invasion) I would have probably been one of them. The extends we go to get that evasive green card eh?

But fate took me somewhere else. Now I am looking back and thinking to myself. I still do respect the concept of comraderie a lot. Soldiers are professionals they know what they are gettin into before they sign up.

Than I remembered the talks I had with my American friends back in the dorm days. I used to insult them all over the place cuz they kept sayin why should I go 8000 miles away from my country and fight for somebody elses purposes which I don't want to have anything to do with?

In those years I was getting ready to fight the rebels/insurgents/terrorists/seperatists in my country as an enlisted officer as a part of my mandatory service. Than I met books, people from different cultures and slowly the words of those Americans who I blamed with cowardice started to echo in my head. They started making sense.

What is so sacred about comraderie, esprit de corps when the war is not just?

Nothing.

Who decides if a war is just?

Neo-Aristocracy.

Who is Neo-Aristocracy?

Only people who won't die in a war.

	nightfrog 2004-03-19 03:59 (link)
	Is a war ever just? And for that matter, is anything ever just? Maybe I'm the hopeless optimist...but I think you just suck as much good out of every situation and let the rest go, you know? (Reply to this) (Thread)

I am right there with you! cynicalhope 2004-03-19 04:07 (link)

I am an optimist as well. At least I try to be. Because without hope there is no reason to live. Wars won't ever be just because of the intricacies we won't ever be able to grasp. There is two sides to every story. Something that can be seen as vile and evil to us could be accepted as something that is perfectly normal by someone else who has been brought up differently. All I know is through communication and transparency we will wear down these walls that has been built to seperate us. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: I am right there with you! emptycavity 2004-07-05 15:50 (link)

you are not an optimist It's quiet in the center of the storm, in the eye. The eye remains open, even when prompted to close and be at peace. There is never peace for the mind's eye, especially considering the situation in which you find yourself now. The layman would look upon it as an olive branch, but the mind's eye sees the past as well as the present. The future is a certainty mired in doubt. --X-- You know damn fucking well that this offering isn't from the heart, because your heart is black from years of malcontent and starvation. A sooted heart can only emulate the love that it can never know. Pity should be the proper answer, and yet pity isn't warrented here. Death, rot and decay are visible to all but you, the damned, slowly drowning in the rising tide of bile coursing from the entirety of your self-darkened spirit. Are you sure that the light you feel isn't an illusion? Are you sure that you aren't fooling yourself again? It doesn't matter, because you'll never be sure. You didn't seek the help you needed when you had the opportunity, and you turned away all offers of help when you were most in need. There might be a coming back from that, but you haven't found it yet. It's too late for acceptance, because you can never heal the dead. What once was is no more. Half have healed; half have hidden. Perhaps you'll prove the world wrong someday. But then, perhaps not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: I am right there with you! cynicalhope 2004-07-07 03:03 (link)

Well. Long time no see. How have you been? I liked the grim entry. But it has me all confused. You are right I am not an optimist. I am cynically clinging to the last vestiges of hope I have left. Constantly nurturing my inner child. So I won't loose the purity. My inner child, the innocence that represents humanities sin(sins according to me not according to any of the institutionalized religions) free state. I am loosing the war though. I need to get out of here. I need to get out of this war of attrition. I am comatose. I am comatose and aware. Observing the dark side of human nature eat away at my being. Helplessy observing. Drifting in the void. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)