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suzanne (cuntlingsuzanne) wrote,
@ 2007-10-30 10:17:00
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    Current mood:confused

    i am so confused about what happen last night. Tim and i made love, no let me correct that. Tim fucked me last night. Sure we have had quickies in the past where he would fuck me hard fast and furious then cum inside of me before i had the chance to orgasm but those times were different as usually we were time restricted. But they were always filled with such passion that it was alright. Last night was so so different. Tim has always been such a caring lover. Always taking the time to worship my nipples (wish he would do more than roll them with his fingers or just suck on them) , teasing my clit until it was burning so wonderfully and covering me in kisses until i would be begging him to enter me.

    i was still in such a horny mood when last night after a few (almost like they were mandatory ) kisses he jammed his hand between my legs to see if i was wet then he climbed on top of me. While i was heating up to what i thought was just getting started i was not prepared nor ready for him so when he pushed his cock into me it was painful. Now i love rough sex but this isnt what i had in mind. He was fucking me so fast ,like he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Again this is so not like him as usually he moves in and out of me slow, taking long strokes letting us both enjoy my inner muscles gripping his shaft. Just as my pussy was slicking up to accept his thrusts and i was getting use to his tempo he came . He kissed me telling me how great that was then again like he couldnt wait to get away from me, rolled out of me onto his side and went to sleep.

    It made me feel so cheap like a whore that was paid to be fucked. I havent felt like this since college when after a few (or more) margaritas i would meet some cute guy at a bar and we would go and try to fuck each others brains out. He would always promise to call me and of course i would never hear from him again until we saw each other again in some bar. Then of course he would make some lame excuse that he had been trying to find me but couldnt. They always expected me to buy their line and jump right back into bed with them which sometimes i did hating myself whenever i sobered up.

    i do not know what to think about last night,,was this a one time thing or is this going to happen more and more often. i love Tim and i have enjoyed the sex we shared but i do not know if i can take another night like last night. Maybe this is how a slut should feel, fucked, used , dirty and abandoned!

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2007-10-30 15:23 (link)
that sounds like an awful expirence!
Sorry to hear you had to have felt that way, not a good feeling.
I hope that a slut isn't to feel dirty, used and abandoned.
I hate those feelings....I have abandonment issues, I surely would have cried.

Do you guys have a BDSM relationship? Maybe he was teaching you a lesson for something?
Or maybe he wanted you to be reminded that you belong to him or that you are his or he
has the control?

Don't panic yet, see how the next interactions go, then if it continues then talk to him about it!

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Isn't it hard to be a slut and a SLUT
2007-11-01 00:09 (link)
I struggle with wanting to be His slut, wanting to be FUCKED and wanting to be just a passionate girl who just needs to be made love to.
I've just read all of your entries and i have many of the same thoughts and feelings youv'e expressed. Thought i'd let you know, you're not alone.
i'd love to hear more about you and your Master. My Master also has been in Gor before, and i have done lots of reading, it has been a struggle though because He does not want me in Gor. He says that i am not ready to handle the protocols and rules of a gorean relationship. We are not currently 24/7 (we see each other ofen and are working towards it), but i wuld love to hear more about your life together.
I'm here if you need an ear to listen.
And for the record.... WAR EAGLE!

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Re: Isn't it hard to be a slut and a SLUT
2007-11-02 14:44 (link)
not sure how this works,,if you receive it or not,,,if you would like to write me directly my email addy is

*crossing my arms over my chest so you can not see the "Ole Miss"
sigh we have had such i terrible year,,i never thought i would say i will be happy when the football season is over*

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Just checking on you
2007-11-11 21:12 (link)
Hi there!
Just checking on you. i came back to see if you'd posted, and reread your lastr entry, so just wanted you to know i was thinking about you! hope all is well.
War Eagle (anyway - damn Georgia bulldogs!)

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