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[[die young and save yourself]] (crystal_tears) wrote,
@ 2003-05-20 22:40:00
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    Current mood: sore
    Current music:bleed red - under the weather

    my arm feels numb...
    such a surprising tradgedy ... john cant come to the movies this weekend. Of course he made plans wit alex to go to vermont.. well isnt that sweet... he got me cutting myself again .. not that anyone cares anyway but my arm is so numb and i did a number of damage on me this time... i cut underneath my arm near my wrist with my spiked bracelet and it stings alot and is making my arm tremble and feel numb... ah just like my life.. useless. My spiked bracelet and swiss army knife has become two of my best friends... out of everyone, they always help me to not think of my problems...

    Now I have to wear my armband over it to cover the scars so my parents dont see them when i leave my room .. and tomorrow during school. They seem to heal so fast... but i guess thats the good thing about it. Its so deep at first like the problem, and than eventually starts to fade off. *sigh* -- i really hate my life ... and i hate john for doing this to me .. everyone blames me .. but why blame me when their the ones causing the problem...?...

    .. and JOHN M if your reading this --> im really sorry but i cant stop now since i just started and has become an addiction for me... i hope u understand...

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