| Current mood: |  stressed |
Worthless.....
~No one to turn to~
~No one to trust~
~No way to escape all the pain inside~
~No way to hide~
~All sorrow and lies~
~Trying to reach the light
that was once there,
is just so hard~
~I feel dead air~
~Wanting success again clouds the brain~
~Realization of failure
breaks the heart over n' over,
NEVER LEAVING~
~ALWAYS THERE~
~There's no need to even bother~
~Past history brings up everytime~
~No need for hope~
~Just rather die~
~Cuddle up in my nice warm bed,
crying my eyes out once again~
~No one to turn to~
~No one to trust~
~No way to escape all the pain inside~
~No way to hide~
~All sorrow and lies~
~perhaps i'm just better off saying my goodbyes~
......... :'(
~Me~
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 | 
 smelloftoast
2004-02-11 01:29
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Let me be someone that you can turn to, I understand it maybe hard. But I think we can work it out, or at least lets try. I promise history will not repeat with me. I will not fuck things up anymore. I care to much about everythingand I care alot about the people around and alot about you. That's why I'm getting wicked defensive about Lemon, cause I care and I don't want to lose you. The whole Tim thing, you think the whole Lemon is getting me mad well double it better yet triple it thats how angry I am. One of the many reasons why I'm getting defensive about Lemon is because I wanna show to you that I won't repeat, and that I care alot about you. Even though I have an idea that you do know how much I care about you. The thing about Tim is I don't want to see what I think might happen happen cause everything that I have left will smash. What I think might happen is very sad and if it ever did happen I would feel like an asshole and mostly likely him very badly. I mean Tim is a good kid and all, but him not giving up has my wondering. The feeling that I would feel would that I have faild to protect the ones (you and katie) the I love and care for, and it would hurt me really bad. I know that you care alot about me, which is why I'm getting really defensive about Lemon.
Yea, I understand I fucked up badly a few weeks ago. But, I also understand that things can get fix and that we both care alot about each other. Everytime I look into your eyes I think about things being back to the way the use to be. Everytime I see you cry I wipe the eye. Even if I know that the drop wasn't coming out cause of me I still wipe cause hate to see you cry. Everytime I put my arms around you I don't wanna let go, cause I am afaird that if I do I will lose you and I don't want to lose you. Everytime we hold hands I pray that that wasnt for the last time. Everytime I look into your eyes I hope that that wasn't for the last time. Everytime that I see I think to myself "This is someone that I care alot about and she cares alot about me and I don't want to lose that nor do I want to lose her."
Well, it's coming apon 1:30 and I am getting really tired.
One last thing before I go:
Let's rebuild your heart, and as well as mine. Let's do it together. I swear this time it wont fail.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, hold my hand and I will take us there.
By the way Nikki I love the poem.
Te Amo(Reply to this) (Thread) |
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