violent suicide (crazy_me_haha) wrote, @ 2006-10-31 14:48:00

doce.
Title: Untitled [as of now]
Author: crazy_me_haha
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Brendon/OFC & Ryan/OFC
Summary: God, I wish Anna were here right now; she’d save me from the awkwardness. Where the fuck are they anyway?
Disclaimer: Grab a dictionary and search for 'fiction'.

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This was totally a long eventful day and it was already 9pm. Did we really stay in the theme park until 9? Yeah, I guess so. All of us were trudging towards the front gates, get in the van and get back to the hotel, but that will probably take us 30 minutes to just get to the front gate. Jenna and Astrid still wanted to stay for the fireworks.

So while Jenna and Astrid stood along with the large crowd in Main Street USA, waiting for the fireworks showcase to begin, the rest of us sat at one side. People were still looking and trying to take pictures discreetly, as if we don’t notice. Ryan and Anna were somewhere in one of the souvenir stores, doing or buying god knows what, so Brendon, Jon, Spencer and I were left alone.

“Hey guys, we’re gonna go find something to eat coz Miss Girly Feet here decided to feel hungry.” Spencer rolled his eyes at Jon whose stomach could be heard growling.

“I’m a growing boy!” Jon retorted, “C’mon and help me find something to eat!” He grabbed Spencer by the arm and dragged him along with him, hoping to find an open restaurant or stand.

Brendon and I were left alone once again. I turned to look at my side to see if Anna and Ryan could be fast approaching. I can’t really stand being alone with Brendon; I get all quiet and I hate being quiet! God, I wish Anna were here right now; she’d save me from the awkwardness.

Where the fuck are they anyway?

Ryan

Its 9 o’clock and Anna and I were moving from one souvenir shop to another. The longest time we stayed in a store is in this one: a jewelry store. A REAL jewelry store right inside Disney World, but of course, it stayed true to its theme: there were jewelry of different kinds, color, cuts and size of Disney characters. There were some that weren’t Disney characters and that’s what I’m staring at.

Anna was looking around the store and I was stuck staring at a pair of silver necklaces. It was the “broken heart” kind; the one where you have half of the heart and then you give the other half of the necklace to whomever you want. I continued staring at it. I couldn’t walk away from it. I slowly glanced up and saw Anna talking to one of the store clerks about one of the jewelry.

Anna is really pretty. Pretty is even an understatement; she’s beyond beautiful for me and I like her. No, really. I don’t like her based solely on looks, but there’s just something about her that makes me attracted to her. It’s in her personality, I just know it. Besides the fact that we didn’t really talk to one another this past couple of days, I’ve gotten to known her pretty much through our letter exchange. She’d always sign her letters with:

your_starcatcher

I’d always smile whenever I see a letter end with that. It’s just so fitting for her. I know it sounds weird that we write to each other even though we’re like – most of the time – half an inch away or whatever. I was never really good with girls. I’ve only been with one girl and that was when I was in high school and then she cheated on me. It was the greatest relationship EVER.

Not.

Whenever we would exchange letters, I feel like I’m writing in a journal and the ‘journal’ will reply back to me with really meaningful words. So is it right to give her this necklace? I paid for it already.

“What did you buy?” she asked, ready to leave.

“Um…” I hid the plastic bag behind my back, “Just something for myself…”

She looked at me skeptically with a raised eyebrow. “Oh, okay. Well, ready to go?”

“Yeah…”

When am I going to give it to her? It seems too early if I gave it to her right now. I don’t want to rush her and make her feel pressured and of course, I can’t give it to her here in this place with all the people watching; a bunch of them could be fans and I bet, in an hour, those LiveJournal communities or wherever, will be filled with pictures and discussions of who the girl I’m with is.

The fireworks showcase was finally over and all of us headed back to the hotel with the sense of satisfaction: Jon got the food he wanted, Jenna and Astrid were able to watch the fireworks, Spencer was glad Jon stopped whining [and his stomach grumbling] and…I don’t know about Brendon and Emmy. They don’t seem to be talking. I wonder what’s wrong.

Brendon

How awfully quiet.

Well, between Emmy and me at least; it’s so…silent. Come to think of it, it has always been quiet whenever I’m around with her.

We resumed walking towards the main gates so we could all leave and get a goodnight’s rest after a long hot day of fun under the sun. Emmy and I were at the front of everyone. Ryan and Anna were walking together, a few feet from us and Spencer and Jon were accompanying two high hairstylists. I noticed the air was growing cold again and this reminded me of Emmy. I looked at the girl beside me; she was looking blankly at her feet as she walked. I only noticed now that she had worn my hoodie just as the day turned to night. I smiled at the sight of her wearing it.

“It looks great on you.”

She looked at me in surprise, like I was mute for my whole life and had just spoken now. “Oh, thanks. I think I should give it back to you now though…”

“You don’t have to. Keep it as long as you like, just remember to return it to me before the tour is over.” I laughed.

“Of course.” She smiled and the two of us continued walking. Silence once again fell between us. This is getting awkward. We always manage to say one-liners to each other, but never a conversation that would carry on for hours. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I’m pretty outgoing, unlike Ryan who is pretty much a failure around girls. I’m so mean for saying that, but whatever; he’s going to agree with me anyways.

More silence and more walking. God, I can’t take this anymore! There’s a pretty girl standing beside me and I can’t even muster up the courage to start a freakin’ long conversation!? I lost my mojo. I guess this is the result of not being with a girl EVER. I’m not going to lie, but I’ve never been in a relationship. Never. I know it’s so humiliating but I was always the dork in school; the unpopular one. I’ve liked a few girls, but they were all taken by the stupid jocks. See how lame and rejected I was? If only you could see my high school pictures, god, you’re going to throw up in disgust. See the boy with braces and black thick-rimmed glasses.

When the band quickly shot to fame, everybody started declaring their love for us and how hot we are. It’s all strange for me, because as I mentioned before, nobody ever liked me. I had a few bunch of friends and that’s it. Emmy is the first girl I ever liked loved liked who’s not taken by anyone. No stupid jocks to block my path.

The silence was getting to me, so I did the unthinkable – which wasn’t really a solution for this silence. I reached for her hand and held it tight into my own. I was waiting for her to let go or receive any violent reaction from her, but it didn’t happen. The unexpected happened and she let our fingers intertwine.

This is just the second time we held hands and I don’t feel so awkward anymore, but I should be you know? I mean, c’mon, we shouldn’t even be holding hands! That action is reserved for those who are IN LOVE [in my world, at least] with one another and I’m certain enough that she doesn’t love me back…

“Hey B, Emmy; look over here!”

The both of us turned around at the same time and were greeted with a blinding flash coming from Anna’s camera. What the fuck? They all had grins on their faces, including Spencer and Jon. Jenna and Astrid were giggling and smirking at the same time.

“Aww…don’t you two look cute together!” Anna gushed, showing the picture to us, “Holding hands and all! There’s also a back shot of you two when you weren’t looking.”

Indeed there was, and there was another one except this time it was a close up of our hands held together. It was a nice picture, I have to admit. I discreetly looked at her and she had a smile on her face. She stared at the picture for a long time until Anna retrieved her camera back.

“Send that to me, why don’t you.” I said, “You should take pictures more often, these are great.”

Anna smiled, “Thanks.”

Emmy added in to the conversation of the picture. “I like it. Send it to me too.”

I looked at her again and this time, she looked back at me with a smile tugging on her glossed lips. I never knew she had brown eyes – just like I do. Maybe she’s right; maybe I do need to look at her face more often.