corridor7f (corridor7f) wrote, @ 2004-03-20 23:39:00

I wore jackets whenever possible, to look older and smarter... my forehead bang-free, me skull's sheen. I became idiotic around attractive men, switching poles and winning an Oscar. They thought I didn't give a rat's. I gave a million rats plus one and wept. I blackened my eyes and still faked mystery. I was arrogantly exclusive and sat in an airless 1 foot cube, thinking myself quite content. I made sure to feel every one of my smiles, it's sinews flexing, made it perfect. I took myself entirely too seriously in the wrong situations. I was forced into great performances by other people. I never did anything for myself except refrain.

I hope I'm different now. I hope I can get through my own doings. Oh shit I'm fucked up and obviously so this time. I hope my promotion works out. I hope I retain some dignity. No more cutting onions in my mind.

Maybe I'm depressed.

Being alone is getting scary. More so than the fact that there is no time for such.

	psyclone 2004-03-21 17:08 (link)
	I have to say I love the way you write... Hope you find your peace (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: corridor7f 2004-03-22 19:24 (link)
	Aw, thanks... really. I'd thought I'd lost "it" after not writing for so long. I still keep track of all you guys, even if it is silently. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	past tense nomin 2004-03-22 01:23 (link)
	cutting onions in your mind ? Promotions are always a little scary, but why do you think that it will steal your dignity from you? Why is being alone getting scary? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lobsterpajamas 2004-04-02 00:10 (link)
	I dig your journal. :) Chelley (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lurking ambearo 2004-04-14 04:40 (link)
	we seem to have similar interests... and there is a certain amount of fellowship created by living in the same country. I have glanced over your journal and find it, to a degree, compelling. I think it would be even more compelling to meet the individual behind the poetic waxings and linguistic cloaks. Check me out, add me as a friend if you're interested. Peace. (Reply to this) (Thread)