coldascoal (coldascoal) wrote, @ 2005-02-06 23:10:00

Current mood:	pessimistic
Current music:	bob fucking dylan

i'm not the one you want babe, i will only let you down.
i guess this weekend was pretty good, even if i felt crappy towards the end.
i got to have some fun. and tubing was probally the most fun i've had in a long, long time. i love laughing that hard. it barely comes out anymore. but i was really glad to spend time with laura and jason. cause they are adorable together. and kate and sam are always a great time. i felt good when i was with them.
i saw fred. i'm not sure what to say about that. i feel things changing. i really can't say now what the hell i'm thinking with him. i feel confident in my decisions one second and then it completely flips. i feel good with him. very happy when we're together. but theres so much more. so complicated and tough trying to predict it will all turn out. i just have no clue what to do. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?
there isn't an answer.
i have to live for me. like do everything i ever wanted to do and actually get out and do things, not just hope for something to come along. really. it's quite a problem.
i watched both united states of leland(galetka) and adaptation this weekend. they were both great. i love to watch good films.

i found old disks with pictures on them from wrestling season and france. holy poop, wrestling was quite the year junior year. what obsessions and funny stuff. i love it! i absolutely loved everyday of wrestling it's something i think of alot. god.

i wish i took some pictures this weekend. then i could post them. i wish i saw belle this weekend. i wish i loved coming back as much as i used to. i wish i talked to my parents for once in my life. i wish i saw some old friends.
i wish... i wish i was a little bit taller. i wish i was a baller. i wish i had a girl if i did i would call her....
shit.
night.



it ain't me babe, it aint me you're looking for babe.

	steamingvenus 2005-02-08 10:29 (link)
	next time we're home we must go to rick's and visit. MUST. and to answer your question, i think you just need to feel growth. if things change, that's better than trying to force them to stay the same. you'll both always have something special and that's undeniable. (Reply to this) (Thread)