| Current mood: |  scared |
Joshy Woshy Woo
Why are guy so infuriatingly...poop? I'm getting sick of trying to stop myself from liking guys, then finding someone who seems like he's not an asshole and has interest in me, and then getting stepped on. Which is why I am beyond scared with Josh. I've adored this kid since last February. He has always been wicked sweet to me and I've only seen him be really mad once or twice. We're friends. We joke around, we do stupid shit together, we're awesome. I didn't see him for 2 months. I 1/2 forgot about him cuz there was nothing to remind me of him. I saw him again and I didn't want to let him go. I just wanted to hug and hold him forever. He's a sweetheart, pure and simple. I know I've called alot of kids sweethearts in the past and they've all turned out to be assholes, but I've known Josh for 10 months and I've never witnessed him ever say unwarranted shit about anyone. So I don't want to get to know him and find out that wow, maye he really is an asshole and I just can't see it. I'm afraid to like him cuz I'm afraid that yet again I'm going to get treated like shit. I'm so terrified of liking anyone cuz it hurts too much to be let down, but I'm already friends with Josh and we do great as friends and I don't want to find out he's a jerk and then never be able to hang out with him again. If I had just met him I would be going on about how he's cute and shit and how I really like him. But since I know him I don't want to jinx myself and screw myself over with this one. He's too perfect for me to sully with a crush on him. He's too good for a crush. He'll be a kid who I will always adore and probably never be able to touch. He's amazing.
'Tis the season for self-pity and wishes for guys in my life.
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