|Current mood:||how'm i gonna|
|Current music:||keep myself away from me|
Wow. So much shit went down today, so much to say, so fucked up on coffee & secondhand weed smoke & my meds, blah blah blah I could just talk for hours. Or type. But I won't. I felt so weird today, maybe cause of who I was with. Whenever I hang out with this person it always fucks with me, in so many ways. Ew that sounded gross. Not in THAT way. But anyways, I just feel like talking about crazy deep metaphysical fucked up things for hours with someone who actually understands those things. But he went home a few minutes ago.
I'd like to feel that I have friends who care for me, I'd like to feel that I'm in control of the way I feel about certain people, I'd like to say that certain people don't affect me when they do certain things.
I'd like to not burst out crying in the backseat of a car parked far away from prying eyes.
"Its 4:30 a.m. on a Tuesday, it doesn't get much worse than this, in beds in little rooms in buildings in the middle of these lives which are completely meaningless." -Counting Crows
This entry is sort of weird, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things. Sorry for the way certain things turned out, I'm also scared and excited and scared again, thinking about certain things.
Is it true that you can get pregnant even if you're a virgin?! I can't have a baby right now. I fucking can't. Its okay, I can afford an abortion. I can't believe I Just said that. I'm losing it, completely. But I don't feel so off. I feel like maybe I've got it just right.
I'm on so many drugs, please don't listen to me.
"In a perfect blue building, beside the green apple sea, i gotta get me a little oblivion baby, try to keep myself away from myself & me." -counting crows
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