|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||Good Day-Luce|
the perfect fit
i'm having a bipolar week. maybe it's just the month of may....but i feel like i'm under intense stress with class and dealing with all of these people that are crazy, but don't seem too crazy when you just meet them. it's a wierd thing b/c when i first start talking to these people i'm like, ok that sounds familiar that's not so bad, but then they go ape-shit and try to kill themselves. so what makes them crazy and me not? well in a matter of speaking at least.
i hate money. i gave work my notice and i will be done on july 4th. the bitch that does the schedule is only giving me one day a week right now other than the weekends and she's all, "oh i wish you could stay" blah blah blah whatever bitch. next week i have an interview at one of the hospitals in town. and almost everyone in my family is trying to get me to work in the mont. and i'm all, uh look at the price of gas..........look at what i drive, plus it's fremont i tried to leave that place thank you very much. but they all seem to be disappointed in me that i'm not going to the thirld world countries to cure the lepers, or work in fremont and see the gerber babies. i'm almost afraid to tell them that i like psych b/c then they'll really judge me.
i have so much to do this weekend. i have to make up a resume, write two papers, create a posterboard all about massage and how beneficial it is for the mind etc. and my printer took a crap last night. so yay fun.
and then there is kortney. where do i even begin? well, ok why do i put up with it? our friendship hasn't been a two-way street for a long time. i'm the one calling her, and she cancels plans, doesn't call me, and generally doesn't care. and i hate that i have invested so much and now i'm the one who is let down, yet it really doesn't make or break her life b/c she's got Scott.
i don't mean to sound really jealous and bitchy. but i guess that's what i am tonight. and it feels like i can't find a place to fit in. i am about to be done with school, and what i desperately want is someone to say "ok heather, you should work here and do this" but now this decision is up to me and i'm petrified that i won't like it, and i won't fit in, and i'll loose all of my friends
sigh............it's been a long day and maybe i'll feel better in the morning. or maybe i should have stolen some antipsychotic samples from the office today and i'd feel better
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